Waiting for No One: My Get-it-Together YouTube Playlist

I'm in kind of a Sunrise, Sunset mood today.  Probably all the time I've spent caring for my infant granddaughter lately.  Looking into that sweet little face, watching those little blues intently taking it all in, seeming wiser, and older, by the minute.

We probably can't afford the time to wallow in thoughts of its passing.  Maybe play these one at a time, as a reward for an hour well-used--whatever that means.  Or hit the link for the whole playlist, and think of it as a motivational soundtrack for doing some serious work.

Or just give up and wallow.

Playlist Time Songs on my YouTube Channel PutittoBed

1.   Time Waits for No One, by the Rolling Stones

2.   Time in a Bottle, by Jim Croce

3.   We May Never Pass This Way Again, by Seals and Crofts

4.   This Time, by The Verve

5.   Time, by Pink Floyd

6.   Bookends, by Simon and Garfunkel

7.   Days Go By, by Keith Urban

8.   Time, by Hootie and the Blowfish

9.  Life is Short, Butterfly Boucher

10. No Time, by the Guess Who

What songs would you add?

More Musical Procrastination

Visiting Procrastinators Anonymous this evening, I found on-line 12 step meetings, recovery tips for procrastinators, and this:

We are a very blessed group over here. A wonderfully talented songwriter found our site, was helped by it, and wrote a song about procrastination. It beautifully captures the essence of what procrastination is all about. Thanks very much to Miranda Hope for sharing it with us. Song and lyrics are below.

Click here to listen.

And yes, she's really Bob Hope's granddaughter!  But her musical gift is no joke.

Procrastination, ala Carly Simon

I'm not the song writer Carly Simon is.  If I were, I wouldn't be doing a Weird Al on her famous ketchup-selling song, Anticipation.   But I'm not, so I am.


It's late Friday night, after a brutal week.  I am pushing up against my post deadline, and this is what's in my head.  To the tune of Anticipation, I give you. . .


Procrastination

I can never get all the day’s tasks done

But I think about them anyway, yay

And I wonder if I’ll stop postponing stuff
Or keep chasin' after some finer day

Procrastination, procrastination

Is makin’ me late

Is keepin’ you waitin’

And I tell you how easy it is to put things off

And so I just keep missing deadlines

But I, I rehearsed those words just late last night

When I was thinkin' about how late it just might be

Procrastination, procrastination

Is makin’ me late

Is keepin’ you waitin’

And tomorrow's my favorite day to do things

I'm not focused and I don't know why I delay  
But I'll try and see a way to do things now

So stay right here ‘cause I’ll get it done someday

I’ll get it done someday

So stay right here ‘cause I’ll get it done someday

I’ll get it done someday

I’ll get it done someday

I’ll get it done someday

I’ll get it done someday

A theme song for my recovery. . .

Songs From Inside the Chrysalis: My Playlist for Befriending Change

On the heels of yesterday's post about change fatigue, I'm ready to change my tune (sorry, pun intended).  Many of the things I've been reading lately about neuroplasticity argue against staying stuck in word-mode--my favorite hang-out.  Music is often mentioned as another avenue to brain change.  Of course, my music therapist friend could have told me long ago (but didn't, probably because she couldn't get a word in edgewise!) about music's positive effects on brain waves, breathing and heart rate, and state of mind, as well as its other potential health benefits. 

I am not sure, not having made a thorough study of this area, if we should be looking to genre, tempo, rhythm, intonation, form, or some other musical aspect as we seek to employ this art form instrumentally (eek!  another pun!).  I have seen reference to possible negative effects of music, so I suppose I am taking some chances here.  But I decided to throw caution to wherever it is that hesitance might be jettisoned, and choose some tunes to listen to.  The hope is that their sentiments might inspire and move, if not sooth, this halting changer.  

This approach is clearly not neuroscience, or a valid investigation of--well, anything.  The idea is merely to try an aural wash of change, to see what happens when I listen to a dose of change songs.

In addition to  focusing, in typical word-aholic fashion, on lyrics, I chose the following songs for personal listenability, applying my own general taste along with a sense of adventure.  Every one of them has the word "change," or one of its declensions, in the title.   Each is linked to iTunes, to allow readers to hear a brief sample, or to purchase the entire song.  Because iTunes and I apparently don't use the same sampling criteria, I have provided lyrics excerpts. 

1.  Changing Inside,  Mark Abis

These days I’m walking the road alone

Returning once again to my only real home

Waking up early, staying up late

Reading a book I borrowed from my friend the heavy weight

Finding a new way to begin

Living without but living within

My eyes are opening to what might appear

As waking up to the simple fact that I’m here

2.  I Am Changing, Jennifer Holliday

I am changing, seeing everything so clear now
I am changing, I'm gonna start right now, right here
I'm hoping to work it out, and I know that I can

3.  Forever Changing, The Owls

the time to finally begin
will go right when you appear


forever changing
you don't have to hurry
forever changing
you don't have to worry

4.  Dream About Changing, Sally Seltmann

I close my eyes and dream about changing. 


I'm sailing a ship on a lake that never runs dry.
Something exciting because I'm a little I'm a little bit shy.


Girl comes running with a book in her hand
I open to the first page it says 'yes you can

5.  Changing All Those Changes, Buddy Holly

I should have reconsidered all those things I said I'd do
so now I'm changing all those changes
that I made when I left you

6.  Changing Horses, Dan Fogelberg

Looking farther than you'll ever hope to see
Takes you places you don't know
Search for someone you can't ever hope to be
And still you go
Oh, still you go

7.  Better Change, Fogelberg again

You better change before the sun goes down
You better leave before you are the last in town
You better raise your fortresses or tear them down
Tear them down...tear them down

8.  Ever Changing Times, Aretha Franklin

And me, ever changing time
Everything is going so much faster
It seems like I'm
Watching my life, and everything I do
Wonder if the dreams that I believed in
Can still come true

9.  Changing, Four Bitchin' Babes,

People I used to be
don't even say hello to me
I'd like to introduce my selves to each other
But they keep. . .

10.  Changing Opinions, Philip Glass

Maybe it's the hum
Of changing opinion
Or a foreign language
In prayer
Maybe it's the mantra
Of the walls and wiring
Deep breathing
In soft air

11.  Change, Tracy Chapman

How bad, how good does it need to get?
How many losses? How much regret?
What chain reaction would cause an effect?
Makes you turn around,
Makes you try to explain,
Makes you forgive and forget,
Makes you change? Makes you change?

 

I welcome reader's suggestions for pieces to include in future playlists.  There are more change songs out there than I could wade through in a lifetime.  Apparently, more than a few of us are dealing with the metamorphosis thing.

Done for the Week: These Little Lights of Mine

Did I mention that there are only 15 days, 13 hours, and some amount of minutes and seconds (depending on how long it takes me to complete this post and get it up) until the Winter Solstice--that nadir of light toward which we are inexorably headed, and which I am looking forward to being on the other side of?  [Note to spouse, who will be reading this from halfway around the world:  We will be attending a Solstice Service the night you return.  So rest up!]

I have been working on befriending the darkness, and my partnerless state this past week.  Of course, the downside is that I expose myself to the possibility of missing these two formerly dreaded conditions once they are gone.  I am reminded of the first two of Buddha's Four Noble Truths.  1. Life means suffering; and 2. The origin of suffering is attachment.  So I guess I'm right on track, complicating things by trying to escape suffering.

While I've been engaged in this particular "stupid human trick," I got an astonishingly (to me) long list of admittedly not world-changing things done.

Done for the Week:  Nov. 29-Dec. 5

1. Continued off-season race training; ran once, biked 4 times 
2. Succeeded in getting one son to gym with me once
3. Finished A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future: Twists and Turns and Lessons Learned, by Michael J. Fox 
4. Continued reading The Zen Path Through Depression, by Philip Martin, and Undoing Perpetual Stress: The Missing Connection Between Depression, Anxiety, and 21st Century Illness, by Richard O'Connor; Baking Cakes in Kigali, by Gaile Parkin.  Discontinued reading Barbara Kingsolver's The Lacuna
5. Continued support of transitioning not-for-profit organization--continuing to taper off
6. Worked my two part-time jobs
7. Published 5 blog posts
8. Meditated 5 times
9. Wrote 4 Gratitude Journal entries
10. Wrote 3 Morning Pages
11. Spent 3-1/2 hours working on my novel
12. Attended church
13. Participated in more frustrating transcontinental skype calls with absent spouse; one less frustrating one after his hosts fixed their internet connection
14. Attended 2 yoga classes
15. Took my sons out for (nonalcoholic) Happy Hour
16. Babysat my grandson one evening
17. Watched our two favorite basketball teams play 4 games, with son 
18. Purchased new outdoor lights, which my aesthetically astute son put up
19. Found working wall clock at Goodwill, to replace broken one in family room
20. Purchased replacement headlamp for my car, which my mechanically-inclined son installed
21. Ordered and received new "touchless" kitchen trash can--which my dog can't outfox-- to replace old no-longer-working one
22. Spent hours almost mastering new (to me) web design feature
23. Worked on straightening sun/dining room
24. Survived second week with absent spouse
25. Saw my therapist
26. Cleaned bathroom sink
27. Straightened living room
28. Did laundry
29. Coordinated dinner preparation by sons (yay!)
30. Played my wounded piano several hours, over the course of the week
31. Purchased nosebleed seats for my son and me to see H.M.S. Pinafore
32. Purchased and sent senior-friendly cell phone as birthday and Christmas gift for my mom
33. Accomplished significant progress as employment counselor/placement specialist for two unemployed sons

This past week saw the return of my attempt to focus my efforts.  Highlighted in green above is evidence of my need to do so.  I had intended to meditate daily, but managed only five sessions on the cushion.  The hitch seems to be scheduling.  I found myself, on several days, running out of day before I ran out of planned tasks, including meditation.  On some of these days, I forced myself to sit just before going to bed.  Late night basketball games that needed to be watched meant that bedtime on these occasions was already too late to get adequate sleep before early morning commitments.  Less than ideal circumstances for keeping my attention on my breath.  Similarly, I struggled to get to the gym by the end of the day, squeezing this important anti-stress measure into my last hours of consciousness and working it around other commitments, mealtimes, gym closing times, etc.

I think I am experiencing a variant of my old procrastination habits, where I build suspense, or juice, or something, by putting off important things to the point that their achievement is in jeopardy.  This week, my focus goal will be to put first things, if not first, at least earlier in the day.  Oh, and to figure out what those first things might be, on any given day. 

With all of the items crammed onto the list this week, it may strike the reader as strange that I identify item #18, "Purchased new outdoor lights, which my aesthetically astute son put up," as my most important accomplishment.  Though it may be seen as merely symbolic, it is consonant with my "believing" project.  (See recent posts, Belief Control--My Take, and Believe--The Musical.)  Having the lights up, shining through the dark, glinting off the snow, gives me hope; the kind my minister referred to yesterday as "courageous hope," not to be confused with optimism with its denial of difficulty, but acting in the face of all that is hard.  "Knowing full well. . .," but doing it anyway.  As in a real but metaphorical story she recounted, it is my "cello playing in Sarajevo," though clearly my challenges don't rise to the level of Vedran Smailovic's.

The closing words of yesterday's service, used also to conclude my most recent yoga class, were these:

May the long time Sun shine upon you, 

All love surround you. 

And the pure light within you, 

Guide your way on.

Believe--The Musical

This week has seen way too many late-night blogging sessions.  I'm not sure what's up with that,  but I believe that I can get back to a better routine, with some more vigilant patrolling of my borders.  Today, I kept myself from stressful absorption in a tangle of solitary tasks by listening to Irish music.  As I did so, I was caught by the idea of putting together a playlist to reinforce flagging belief.  Below is my first effort.


Ten Songs for Bolstering Belief

1. Believe by Yellowcard
2. When You Believe by Celtic Woman
3. Believe in Yourself by Diana Ross
4. I Believe by Chris Isaak
5. I Believe in You by Frank Sinatra
6. Believe in Life by Eric Clapton
7. I Shall Believe by Sheryl Crow
8. Dredd Song by Cure
9. Still Believing by Mary Black
10. Keep Believing by Brand New Shoes
11. You'll Never Walk Alone by Aretha Franklin

I finally figured out how to link to iTunes, so if you are interested, you can preview these songs, and purchase them if you wish.  (No kickback to me.)

And now, I believe, it's time for bed. . . 

Songs For Turning Things Around: My Personal Playlist

I started to think about this post a few weeks ago, as I reflected on the energy that music can bring.  Reflected, as John Mellencamp accompanied me on a challenging run, courtesy of my iPod.  


I put this playlist together today, so it has not yet been "road-tested."  Literally, while running.  Or figuratively, in terms of the road less travelled, the one I am venturing out on.  It may need some editing, as I listen for things to add, and to remove.  I chose the songs here for variety, and for how they make me feel.  I'm going for hopeful, resolved, and adventurous.  I have excerpted lyrics that speak especially to me.  


I welcome others' thoughts.


Songs for Turning Things Around--The First 10


1.  John Mellencamp --"The Real Life"


I want to live the real life
I want to live my life close to the bone
Just because I'm middle-aged that don't mean
I want to sit around my house and watch TV
I want the real life, I want to live the real life


2.  Sam Cook--"A Change is Gonna Come"


Oh there been times that I thought I couldn't last for long
But now I think I'm able to carry on
It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, Oh yes it will


3.  Phil Ochs--"Changes"


Scenes of my young years were warm in my mind
Visions of shadows that shine
'Til one day I returned and found they were the
Victims of the vines of changes
The world's spinning madly, it drifts in the dark
Swings through a hollow of haze
A race around the stars, a journey through
The universe ablaze with changes


4.  Patti LaBelle--"New Day"


Seems my life is finally coming together
Feel so good, don't think I've ever been better
It's clear to me my future will bring
The peace I've been longing for is mine forever more

It's a new day
Open my eyes and my path is clearer
( New Day )
Pushing ahead till my goal gets nearer

( New Day )
Spread my wings
I'm doin' things my way
It's a new day



5.  Mary Chapin Carpenter--"Holding Up the Sky"


I wanna feel what the wind feels like
I wanna go that high and feel no fear except being down here
Holding up the sky. . . . . Holding up the sky


6.  The Beatles--"Blackbird"


Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free
Blackbird fly, blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night


7.  Ziggy Marley--"Walk Tall"


Walk tall, walk tall
Even if you fall get up
Stand tall, stand tall
Even if you fall get up
Life is a lesson that we must learn
If you play with fire you might get burned
If you worry too much
You gonna get stressed
So brush off the dust
And lift up your chest


8.  Dolly Parton--"Change It" (from musical 9 to 5)

Somethin' got you down got you chained and bound
Well break it. (Face it)
If you've built a wall and know it needs to fall
Then shake it. (Replace it)
Somethin' that you know is dammin' up the flow
Tear the damn dam down.
Let me explain it.
If you don't take the reigns it's going to stay the sameNothin's gonna change if you don't change it.


9. Tracy Chapman--"If Not Now"

If not now what then

We all must live our lives

Always feeling

Always thinking

The moment has arrived

10.  Stephen Schwartz--Defying Gravity (from musical Wicked)

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!

Music to Procrastinate By: A Soundtrack for Postponement

In recognition of the many creative ways some of us find to put things off, and the cool things we find to do while avoiding distasteful tasks, I present the following list of tunes about procrastination.  This is merely a sampling of songs I found which give testament to songwriters' familiarity with the subject.  Some celebrate procrastination, with or without tongue in cheek.  Some rue time-wasting, and others are accepting of the alternating rhythms of productivity and idleness.  

Ten Songs About Procrastinating

1. Catching Up On Doing Nothing by Reagan Boggs
2. Flowers on the Wall by The Statler Brothers
3. Solitaire by Suzanne Vega
4. Procrastination by Amy Winehouse
5. Putting it Off and Putting it Off by The Lucksmiths
6. Procrastination Rag by Nancy White
7. Procrastinator by Jon Turk
8. Procrastinatin' by Taryn Reneau
9. Do it All Later by Kris Campbell
10. Deadlines Looming by Amanda Monaco

I'm keeping this short today, since working through the superbug I contracted from a two-year-old is not working.  I'm putting myself to bed.  I plan to catch up on doing nothing,  count some flowers, put it off and put it off.  Do it all later.