Procrastinating 101: Winding Up the Lateness Cures

If I were due to be someplace at 12:00, the minute hand on the clock face at the left would be in the "Whew!  Just made it!" position.

A position I'm hoping to confront less and less.

Likewise the "Yikes!  Not again!  What lame excuse should I offer this time?" configuration, with the minute hand (and in my defense, almost never the hour hand) several points on the wrong side of the appointed hour.

So what can I take from the final pages of Diana DeLonzor's  Never Be Late Again:  7 Cures for the Punctually Challenged as we conclude our Procrastinating 101 consideration of her work?

To set the stage for an appreciation of the difficulties ahead, this quote from H. L. Mencken, presented by Ms. DeLonzor to head her chapter on habit change:

For every complex problem, there is an easy answer, and it is wrong.

Okay.  So nice and easy's off the table.

DeLonzor provides "three keys to successful habit changing," which shake out to more like six keys.  They are:

• Developing the right attitude
• Observing yourself
• Setting your goals and rewarding yourself

and also, under "Developing the right attitude,:

• Go cold turkey
• Don't expect it to be easy

and under "Observe yourself,"

• Keep track in writing.

All pretty self-explanatory.  I would add that, with the cold turkey recommendation, Ms. DeLonzor aligns herself, along with The Happiness Project's Gretchen Rubin, with those changers Rubin calls "abstainers."  Abstainers are the cold turkey crowd.  Moderators, on the other hand, approach change incrementally, avoiding lines in the sand. 

I suspect, from my vast experience of attempted habit change, some successful and some, well, not, that I am a moderator in abstainer's clothing.  That is to say, I am more successful when I persist in acceptance of the gradual nature of change and the inevitable (for me, anyway) slips.  However, I continue to operate out of an abstainer's mindset, and to pay the price.  When my perfect change doesn't work out as planned, I am prone to gradual abandonment of the goal.

Given this recognition, I think it unwise to adopt DeLonzor's advice that I shoot for immediate whole-hog timeliness.  (Am I detecting a barnyard animal theme in my approach to this subject?)

DeLonzor's "Final Note" (which isn't really, since it is followed by a final chapter for those early birds who have to deal with the likes of us, and Appendix A's 20-item "Action Plan for the Perfectly Punctual," and Appendix B's pretty useful "Meditation Instructions") is a little pep talk in which she sends the reader off, armed with new insights and awareness, identification with "one or two" lateness types, four or five appropriate exercises, written goals and an action plan, to "start practicing what you've learned."

She cautions against energetically rushing on to tackle other personal flaws and/or habits (should we have such things) before consolidating the practice of being on time.  And she suggests that the services of a personal coach (which she happens to be, so she should know) might prove useful should we bog down along the way.

She ends with "Good luck" wishes and an Emerson quote.

In retrospect, I think the book includes some good practical advice about taming our inner Mad Hatter.  For myself, I think it may be time to stop attempting across-the-board personal reformation and accept that I will probably to continue to struggle with lateness.  But now I understand some of why that is.  And despite the lateness of this final posting on DeLonzor's manual, the laxness of my approach, and my lack of a strategic plan, I have begun to observe small occasional instances of being on time.  And to learn how to experience them more frequently.

Done for the Week: So Soon Again

Last night's post, which was supposed to be last Monday's, reported on the previous week's achievements.  It's a bit time-warpy, I'll admit, but getting back on track requires this close-upon-the-heels account of the week that ended last night. 

Here's what got done:  (I know, I know.  Passive tense a no-no.)

Done for the Week:  Jan. 9-15, 2012

1. Consulted physical therapist for injury evaluation
   
2. Watched two basketball games, and against my feminist principles part of one football game, with various family members
3. Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Traitor to Memory aloud with my husband--nearing the end
4. Read "The Valley of Fear" from The Complete Stories of Sherlock Holmes, by Arthur Conan Doyle
5. Continued to work my two part-time jobs
6. Published 1 blog post
7. Continued work on current clients' projects
8. Spent 6 hours working on recall campaign
9. Helped with and attended recall celebration
10. Went out for a drink with recall friends
11. Attended board meeting
12. Attended annual prayer breakfast celebrating the life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
13. Attended 2 yoga classes
14. Did laundry 
15. Called my mother
16. Continued to support my son in his search for an internship
17. Took my son out to dinner 
18. Had lunch and breakfast dates with my husband
19. Arranged dishwasher repair
20. Arranged final Christmas celebration, delayed by travel and new baby in the family
21. Meditated 3 times
22. Continued setting up new bedroom with my husband
23. Continued to help my son set up his new bedroom
24. Continued refurbishing upstairs bathroom, including major cleaning
25. Cleaned or reorganized upstairs linen closet
26. Continued major decluttering

The most important thing I accomplished last week was the completion of Phase 2 of a major household shift, involving exchanging bedrooms and bathrooms with my oldest son.   We are reaching the stage where the improvements are beginning to motivate continued progress.  Having the week off from the recently concluded recall process, before beginning to work on voter ID and registration, should free up some time for this ongoing project. 

My focus goal for last week was to make time to continue exercising regularly.  How did I do?  As my son would say, "Epic Fail!"  I did manage to get to yoga class twice, but otherwise succumbed to fatigue, busyness, and an increasingly bothersome foot injury.  The physical therapist I consulted about my foot ordered me to see an orthopedist, which I plan to do this week.  In the meantime, I intend to focus on walking, non-weight-bearing hip strengthening exercises, and swimming, and to make it to the gym three times this week.

And oh, yeah, concentrate on finding more time for Put it to Bed.

Done for the Week: In the Nick of Time

Clearly, today is not Monday.  Not by a long shot.  In fact, it's very nearly next Monday.  2012 is shaping up to be a very busy year.   

Put it to Bed is now in its official third year, and much work remains on my personal reorganization project.  I am in the process of reassessing the structure of this blog, given the numerous enterprises in which I am engaged.  In the meantime, I intend to continue posting two to three times weekly--generally beginning with Monday's "Done for the Week" accountability exercise.

For this (nearly gone) week, in case you've been waiting breathlessly to read this update, you can breathe again.  Here's the list!

Done for the Week:  Jan. 2-8, 2012

1. Biked once, ran once, walked twice
   
2. Watched three basketball games with various family members
3. Took my dog to the dog park with my husband, and on one long walk 
   
4. Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Traitor to Memory aloud with my husband--only a few chapters left
5. Read "A Study in Scarlet" and "The Sign of the Four" from The Complete Stories of Sherlock Holmes, by Arthur Conan Doyle
6. Continued to work my two part-time jobs
7. Published 1 blog post
8. Continued work on current clients' projects
9. Spent 6 hours working on recall campaign
10. Attended 2 yoga classes
11. Did laundry 
12. Meditated 5 times
13. Moved into new bedroom with my husband
14. Helped my son set up his new bedroom
15. Began refurbishing upstairs bathroom
16. Found new bed for son on Craigslist
17. Removed several large furniture pieces and one old carpet from house for disposal/donation 
18. Participated in annual Half Price Books shopping with my family, using our Christmas gift cards
19. Sold books to Half Price Books

The most important thing I accomplished last week was the completion of Phase 1 of a major household shift, involving exchanging bedrooms and bathrooms with my oldest son.   

A little background:  Back in late August of 2005, while my husband was in Greenville, Mississippi picking up my Katrina-refugee parents, I was busy turning the main floor of our house into what would have to pass for an assisted living facility for the duration of their unspecified-length stay with us.  Among other things, this involved opening up our basement door and shoving the contents of our bedroom down the stairs.  

Mom and Dad and their elderly Bichon were with us for three months.  Long enough for my husband and I to settle in in our new location.  And ensuing calamities over the next several years were distracting enough to keep us there.  Until now.

One of the good things about deciding to switch rooms with our son is the opportunity for all of us to reorganize our belongings, and get a fresh start on domestic order.  One of the bad things, for us, is the downsizing necessitated by moving into much smaller quarters.  We are still throwing things out, discarding furniture and hundreds of books and no-longer-loved clothing. 

I am alternately loving and hating this process.  I am putting in a lot of hours at it.

My focus goal for the period in question was to make time to exercise at least three times, and to meditate daily.  I had intended one session each, running (sort of), biking and swimming. I did fairly well, though swimming once became walking twice.  I have a hard time facing the prospect of getting wet in January.  I did succeed in meditating most days, partly by lowering my standards, allowing myself to count fifteen minutes of YouTube-assisted "meditation" as one session.

For the week that is now almost over I planned to focus on continuing to exercise regularly.  Preview of tomorrow's post:  I will meet that goal if I stay up the rest of the night, swimming (in my bathtub?), biking (on my trainer) and running (on a potentially broken foot). . . .

Procrastinating 101: And Now for the Cure. . .

Er, first of the cures, actually.

This week, Procrastinating 101 continues our study of Never Be Late Again:  7 Cures for the Punctually Challenged, by Diana DeLonzor, progressing to "CURE ONE:  Who, Me?  Face the Facts."  Here, those of us who attempt to rationalize away our chronic lateness confront the truth.  For our own good, of course.

At the outset, DeLonzor presents the reader with one of those "You might be a . . ." lists.  In this case, we stand to be assessed as, not a redneck, or a Monty Python fan, or, God forbid, a procrastinator, but, in DeLonzor's schema of the seven types of lateniks, a Rationalizer.  Here's the list, short and not-so-sweet.  If:

• You are frequently late for work, appointments, or social engagements, yet feel lateness isn't a problem;
• You believe people are too uptight about punctuality;
• You often attribute your lateness to circumstances beyond your control;
• You make up excuses when you're late;

You might be a Rationalizer.  If, indeed, you, like me, are at least a bit of a Rationalizer, you may find yourself falling into one (or more!) of these three common traps:

#1--Denying There's a Problem

#2--Blaming Outside Influences

#3--Minimizing the Selfishness of the Act

Luckily, DeLonzor lights the way out of this morass of self-deception, recommending three steps to overcoming rationalization--

• Recognizing the Problem
• Facing the Consequences of Your Lateness, and
• Changing Your Attitude.

She goes on to outline helpful exercises as part of each step.  Two of the overall ten approaches recommend themselves to me as useful places to start.  Both are part of the prescription for "Recognizing the Problem." (Note to publisher/proofreader:  There are four exercises listed under "Changing Your Attitude," but the last is labeled Exercise Five.)


The first directs us to keep what I would call a "lateness diary" for a month, tracking punctuality (if it should occur) and incidents of lateness, and recording the number of minutes by which we miss the appointment hour.  My inner worry-wart raises a concern here about the possibility of being late in recording my transgressions.  But moving right along. . .


The second exercise involves looking for ways in which we have, and could begin to use control over the situations in which we find ourselves being habitually late.  I have decided to focus for now on the almost-daily challenge I face in trying to arrive on time for the one job, in my collection of paid employments, that has set--though frequently changing--hours.  


And now it occurs to me that I am too often jotting the last lines of a blog post when I should be collecting my things and running out the door to get to said job.  Gotta run. . .

Vacating My Post--Finally!

No, not my blog post.  Although I will be doing that too, tomorrow, but not "for the rest of [my] life," (as Humphrey Bogart's Rick warned Ingrid Bergman's Ilsa).  Just until next Wednesday.

No, the post I'm referring to--in the sense of "job, employment" that Thesaurus.com tells me is synonymous with "appointment, assignment, berth, billet, office, place, position, [and] situation"--is that of full-time mother.  I have occupied this post, up-close and from afar, on- and off-line, for more than thirty years.  Most of us who attain this position, whether through careful calculation and arrangement or, as in my case, by backing into it--not once, but three times!--never stop being mothers.  But I have been reluctant to stop mothering, more so than your average (Mama) Bear.  

Some would (and have) call(ed) much of what I've done smothering, or brand me with the disdainful sobriquet "helicopter mom."  I would (and have) counter(ed) that I have placed a high priority on parenting, and that my last two, in particular, have been relatively "high needs children."  School years and adolescence have been bumpy--to say the least--for my two-years-apart male offspring, the tag ends of a not-so-blended family.  Their older mom was "sandwiched" between their own and a geographically distant elderly generation of family members requiring major support.  And these boys both came with their own charming but challenging traits and difficulties.  It has not been The Brady Bunch, by any stretch of the imagination.

At twenty and breathing-down-the-neck-of-eighteen, however, they are as ready as any their age that I can imagine to spend several days on their own--in each other's company, even!  They can cook and launder their own clothes, if not clean up religiously.  One can drive the other to work, or to the emergency room.  A sister who won't hang up on them lives nearby.  There is food in the house.  The dog will get them up every day.  The setting and their own amazing maturity will keep them as safe in my absence as I can when I'm here. 

My nest is not empty--yet.  But I am the one leaving it.  For my own good, and theirs, and their father's.  But not for good.

Beginning to put to bed a long and (mostly) lovely part of my life. . .

Blogging on Borrowed Time

Way too much late-night blogging lately. 

Blame it on the NBA, and my family's practice of watching games together.  Blame it on the project I tried to dodge but got sucked into at the eleventh hour.  Blame it on some overlapping extra duty in my extended family.  On ramping up triathlon training.  On the season from hell in Wisconsin politics with no end in sight.  On the devil making me do it.   On. . .

Right now, I should be in bed, unwinding toward sleep in these last minutes of May 26th.  I will need the restorative power of slumber before tackling another crowded day tomorrow.  

But I'm thinking about the pattern that's forming, taking me away earlier and earlier in the day, for more hours, and filling my evenings with multitasking.  And I want it to change.

Or at least I think I do.  Because if I really want it to change, wouldn't I just change it?

Procrastinating 101--A Little Help From Our Friends

Seems like the weeks are rolling by in high gear just now.  And here it is, Tuesday again, and time for Procrastinating 101.  This week, Joseph R. Ferrari's Still Procrastinating?  The No-Regrets Guide to Getting it Done--Chapter 9, "Social Support:  Getting By with a Little Help from My Friends."

In this chapter, Dr. Ferrari talks to us about relying on the kindness of friends and family, strange or otherwise, to help us through the difficult transition from procrastinator to nonprocrastinator.  I find the notion of a more or less liminal state accompanying habit change intriguing.  It is one way to look at my experiences of the last year, as I have attempted to take myself in hand and leave behind the dalliances that have been my stock in trade for too long.  And I must admit that I have not given much thought to the wisdom of seeking support during the process.

Ferrari instructs the reader about the differences between the terms social support and mutual support, the latter being more of a two-way street.  He gives the example of a 12-step program as a mechanism of mutual support.  But either type is to be preferred to trying to go it alone, according to Ferrari.  

Ferrari maintains that procrastinators tend to be "buck-passers," letting others do the work.  But as I read his scenario of two people dealing with getting the dinner dishes done--one a procrastinator and one not--I was struck with the thought that the situation may be more complex than that.  Both people may be procrastinators.  Or each person may procrastinate in some settings and not others, and on some tasks and not others.  And perhaps there is some interaction between housemates, co-workers, song-writing teams, and Girl Scout troops, so that the procrastinating or nonprocrastinating behavior that we display affects and is affected by that of others.

I, for one, am not a chronic buck-passer.  The household-chore-procrastinators that I live with can nearly always depend on my household-chore-procrastination withering before theirs.  And at work, I am generally reliable and timely.  Where I have difficulty is in putting off the things that matter to me personally.  In these areas, I don't have anyone to pass the buck to.

I found interesting the research Ferrari reported on, showing that procrastinators are more likely to turn to casual friends than to family and close friends for support, as compared to nonprocrastinators; and that procrastinators experience more conflict in their close relationships.  Ferrari holds that this is because procrastinators have, in my words, worn out their close relationships because of their inconsiderate behavior.  But it occurs to me that it is just as likely that people whose close relationships are difficult or dysfunctional may be experiencing the kind of chronic stress that reinforces their tendency to postpone tasks.  A correlational study such as Ferrari seems to resort to can leave us with this kind of chicken or egg quandary.  

I was interested, too, in Ferrari's finding that both procrastinators and nonprocrastinators are more likely to evaluate procrastinators negatively, and to wish to distance themselves from such persons.  Thus, we procrastinators may have difficulty putting together a support group, mutual or otherwise.  Ferrari suggests that making new, nonprocrastinating friends who can be our role models may strengthen the changes we are trying to make.  This seems a tad instrumental to me, but maybe that's an aspect of my heretofore dysfunctional, procrastinating self. 

Next week:  (bum-ba-bum-bum) Academic Procrastination.  (Oh, goodie!)

Time (Mis)Management Types: Another Perspective

Another day.  Another way to look at procrastination.  

And now that I've made it my business to immerse myself in all-things-procrastinational, even procrastinating is work-related.  (And tax deductible?  Except that I have yet to make a dime in this pursuit.  But maybe my procrastination losses can offset the minimal profits of my other, more lucrative occupations?)

Anyway, today I found yet another typology of procrastination in Cheryl Clausen's Time Management Tip for Procrastinators on Ezine@rticles. 

According to Ms. Clausen, getting a handle on our time challenges can be facilitated by figuring out which of the following six types fits our postponement profile:

• Time management foilers
• Time management exaggerators
• Time management fretters
• Time management stargazers
• Time management perfectionists
• Time management creatures of habit

Here is my translation/interpretation--the quick and dirty version:

Time management foilers are just plain stubborn.  They don't want to do things on others' schedules.  Time management exaggerators make everything way too complicated, and thus way too overwhelming.  Time management fretters worry and catastrophize about an undertaking to the point of paralysis.  Time management stargazers are dreamy and unfocused.  Time management perfectionists raise the bar on nonvital projects beyond what can be accomplished.  Time management creatures of habit are so used to procrastinating on everything that they automatically delay.

The fixes?  Foilers should "just do it," if it's something that should be done.  Exaggerators should break things down into manageable parts, and get moving.  Fretters should realize that any real difficulties are unlikely to be as painful as all that worrying.  Stargazers should come down to earth and get real.  Perfectionists should let go and realize that, with most things, done is good enough.  Creatures of habit should commit to habit change, and get on with it.

Clausen tells us to

Evaluate the rewards that behavior is giving you, and identify the rewards you could get if you let go of that behavior. Doing so will enable you to refocus your energies so you can do the right things, in the right way, for the right reason, at the right time.

My difficulty in implementing this eminently practical advice is kin to the affliction that had my Dad self-diagnosing every disease, syndrome, malady and condition he studied in medical school.  I see myself in every category.  Perhaps this means I am exaggerating my procrastination problem, which in my case leads to fretting, and inevitably to perfectionism.  As a creature of habit, my knee-jerk response is to stargaze.  And then, of course, I have to fight through my stubborn foiler reaction to all the "shoulds" above. 

But given what's at stake, I'll stay in the struggle.  And keep looking for a way to make it pay off.

Best Laid Plans Meet History-Making Occurrences

My elephant is in revolt today.  


It has thrown off my rider, who sits dazed, in the dust, wondering what happened.  And the pachyderm has plunked itself down right beside her, refusing to budge.


If you read my earlier post on the work of the Heath brothers, Dan and Chip, and specifically their book Switch:  How to Change Things When Change is Hard--or if you found your way to their thoughts on your own--you may recognize the elephant and rider metaphor they borrowed from Jonathan Haidt (The Happiness Hypothesis).  The elephant, you'll recall, represents our emotional self and the rider our rational side.  And these two have to have a workable arrangement if we are to move forward, or in any intended direction, for that matter.


Watching in a somewhat--okay, a completely--obsessive state the various dramas unfolding around me these past days, at the state, national and international levels, I am left wondering about the sense of following my little plans, or even my relatively grander ones.  Events, it seems, defeats, changes, and even accomplishments can come flying in from left field.  


I suppose I feel a little like I remember feeling many years ago after viewing a documentary in my then-husband's astronomy class.  The film took the viewer from the vastness of deep space, with its black holes, red dwarfs and quarks, to the microscopic worlds of cell life, and micro organisms.  The photography was breathtaking.  And at the end, I experienced something like a case of the psychological bends.  I felt simultaneously infinitesimal and insignificant, and planetary and profound.  It was dizzying.


And I wasn't sure if it mattered if I roused myself to leave the seat from which I had watched the hour-long spectacle.  Ever.  But I did.


I assume that my elephant and rider will eventually patch things up.  They usually do.  In the meantime, I'm in the wind, following the current.  This evening, I was blown to the streets, to yell myself hoarse about "what democracy looks like," while the literal wind whipped my face, and my sign about trampling on workers smacked me in the head more than once.


Tomorrow, I will be in Madison.  And after that?  It seems we are all subject to forces we can't foresee.


Later, for our plans.

Songs From Inside the Chrysalis: My Playlist for Befriending Change

On the heels of yesterday's post about change fatigue, I'm ready to change my tune (sorry, pun intended).  Many of the things I've been reading lately about neuroplasticity argue against staying stuck in word-mode--my favorite hang-out.  Music is often mentioned as another avenue to brain change.  Of course, my music therapist friend could have told me long ago (but didn't, probably because she couldn't get a word in edgewise!) about music's positive effects on brain waves, breathing and heart rate, and state of mind, as well as its other potential health benefits. 

I am not sure, not having made a thorough study of this area, if we should be looking to genre, tempo, rhythm, intonation, form, or some other musical aspect as we seek to employ this art form instrumentally (eek!  another pun!).  I have seen reference to possible negative effects of music, so I suppose I am taking some chances here.  But I decided to throw caution to wherever it is that hesitance might be jettisoned, and choose some tunes to listen to.  The hope is that their sentiments might inspire and move, if not sooth, this halting changer.  

This approach is clearly not neuroscience, or a valid investigation of--well, anything.  The idea is merely to try an aural wash of change, to see what happens when I listen to a dose of change songs.

In addition to  focusing, in typical word-aholic fashion, on lyrics, I chose the following songs for personal listenability, applying my own general taste along with a sense of adventure.  Every one of them has the word "change," or one of its declensions, in the title.   Each is linked to iTunes, to allow readers to hear a brief sample, or to purchase the entire song.  Because iTunes and I apparently don't use the same sampling criteria, I have provided lyrics excerpts. 

1.  Changing Inside,  Mark Abis

These days I’m walking the road alone

Returning once again to my only real home

Waking up early, staying up late

Reading a book I borrowed from my friend the heavy weight

Finding a new way to begin

Living without but living within

My eyes are opening to what might appear

As waking up to the simple fact that I’m here

2.  I Am Changing, Jennifer Holliday

I am changing, seeing everything so clear now
I am changing, I'm gonna start right now, right here
I'm hoping to work it out, and I know that I can

3.  Forever Changing, The Owls

the time to finally begin
will go right when you appear


forever changing
you don't have to hurry
forever changing
you don't have to worry

4.  Dream About Changing, Sally Seltmann

I close my eyes and dream about changing. 


I'm sailing a ship on a lake that never runs dry.
Something exciting because I'm a little I'm a little bit shy.


Girl comes running with a book in her hand
I open to the first page it says 'yes you can

5.  Changing All Those Changes, Buddy Holly

I should have reconsidered all those things I said I'd do
so now I'm changing all those changes
that I made when I left you

6.  Changing Horses, Dan Fogelberg

Looking farther than you'll ever hope to see
Takes you places you don't know
Search for someone you can't ever hope to be
And still you go
Oh, still you go

7.  Better Change, Fogelberg again

You better change before the sun goes down
You better leave before you are the last in town
You better raise your fortresses or tear them down
Tear them down...tear them down

8.  Ever Changing Times, Aretha Franklin

And me, ever changing time
Everything is going so much faster
It seems like I'm
Watching my life, and everything I do
Wonder if the dreams that I believed in
Can still come true

9.  Changing, Four Bitchin' Babes,

People I used to be
don't even say hello to me
I'd like to introduce my selves to each other
But they keep. . .

10.  Changing Opinions, Philip Glass

Maybe it's the hum
Of changing opinion
Or a foreign language
In prayer
Maybe it's the mantra
Of the walls and wiring
Deep breathing
In soft air

11.  Change, Tracy Chapman

How bad, how good does it need to get?
How many losses? How much regret?
What chain reaction would cause an effect?
Makes you turn around,
Makes you try to explain,
Makes you forgive and forget,
Makes you change? Makes you change?

 

I welcome reader's suggestions for pieces to include in future playlists.  There are more change songs out there than I could wade through in a lifetime.  Apparently, more than a few of us are dealing with the metamorphosis thing.

When the Bloom is Off the Self-Improvement Rose

I think I may be suffering from change fatigue. 

I have seen numerous mentions of some critical period after which it supposedly becomes easier to maintain a new behavior--when change is consolidated--(ranging from 90 days to one year).  I wonder if the length of time might be partly a function of how much change is being attempted. 

During the last year, I have intentionally changed what feels like a plethora of things about the way I operate in the world.  I have established a practice of blogging five days a week; initiated and continued physical training that prepared me to compete in 5Ks and a sprint triathlon; begun attending yoga classes regularly; returned to a regular practice of writing Morning Pages; kept a gratitude journal; established and generally adhered to a schedule for writing a novel, making significant progress; become more intentional about spending recreational time with my husband; made regular meditation a routine; and begun to be more strategic about my social justice work.  In short, a fairly wholesale reform.

But very few of these activities and behaviors feel well established.  I still have to work against the temptation to backslide, but I'm no longer getting the hit off the whole project that I did in the beginning.  It's starting to feel like slogging.

I'm missing the novelty, that little kick that makes change, among the most dreaded of human experiences, also fun.  What do we do when the excitement and energy that accompany behavior change in the initial phase wears off, before the change has been incorporated?   When the new behavior, still needing effort and energy to learn, loses its shinyness and becomes more drudgery than diverting?

How do we navigate this stage of change?

Surely some wise person has written about this, some social or neuro scientist has studied it.

And there's my little buzz for today--a new area to delve into, a new niche expertise to acquire.   I research, therefore I am.  Time to fire up my library card, activate my search engines.  More later, when I'm (superficially) smarter. . . .

Done for the Week: Not So Much

Another Monday, but hardly a Pleasant Valley one.  I'm still getting my feet back on the ground after traveling last week, and still waiting for my hearing to recover from flying with a bad cold/sinus infection.  I think my family was happy to see me, though I couldn't tell you exactly what they said when I returned.

I managed to get the following done despite three intense days away.

Done for the Week:  Jan. 24-30

1. Continued off-season race training, still fighting a bad cold, and traveling; biked twice; ran once
2. Succeeded in getting husband to gym with me once
3. Finished Last Puzzle & Testament, by Parnell Hall
4. Continued providing minimal volunteer support to transitioning nonprofit
5. Worked my two part-time jobs
6. Published 3 blog posts; took two days off for training
7. Attended national Ntosake training for women leaders
8. Traveled serenely, despite challenges
9. Wrote 6 Gratitude Journal entries
10. Wrote 1 Morning Page
11. Meditated 6 times
12. Watched our two favorite basketball teams play 4 games, with son and husband
13. Foraged for food at the grocery store several times
14. Attended one yoga class

My focus goal for last week was "to practice serenity in the face of change and unfamiliarity.  That will mean getting laundry and packing done ahead, and finalizing travel arrangements, and managing the unexpected with equanimity--while remembering to breathe.  Oh, and remembering to enjoy what there is to enjoy."  I am happy--and amazed--to report that I achieved this goal.  Without qualification.  Not sure how, but I did.  And it's highlighted in green.  And it's written in red, because it was my most important achievement last week.  Hands down.  Now if I could only figure out how to reproduce that state on familiar terrain.

This week's focus goal is to get back to working on my novel.  The weather is threatening to snow us in, which may alter my schedule.  But no matter what, I commit to two writing sessions of two hours each. 

And now, given the late hour, I commit to getting a decent night's sleep, and continuing my quest to rid myself of the cold that's been plaguing me for a couple of weeks.   Buenos noches.

Done for the Week: Two Steps Forward, But Then. . .

More snow this morning.  What is this, winter?

I'm trying not to feel like I'm missing important deadlines.  I still haven't resolved the issued of New Year's resolutions.  My (technically, live) Christmas tree continues to glow in the middle of my living room.  And I haven't answered the question of where I'm going with my blog in this, its second year.  I trust I'll get there when I get there.  I'm relying on this mantra from the Wicked Witch of the West--"All in good time, my pretty.  All in good time."

Meanwhile, here's what I got done last week.

Done for the Week:  Jan. 10-16

1. Continued off-season race training; biked twice; ran twice
2. Succeeded in getting husband to gym with me once
3. Finished Switch:  How to Change Things When Change is Hard, by Chip Heath and Dan Heath; Water for Elephants, by Sara Gruen; The Happiness Project:  Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun, by Gretchen Rubin
4. Continued providing minimal volunteer support to transitioning nonprofit
5. Worked my two part-time jobs, with schedule changes, and heavier number of hours
6. Published 5 blog posts
7. Wrote 7 Gratitude Journal entries
8. Wrote 3 Morning Pages
9. Meditated 4 times
10. Watched our two favorite basketball teams play 4 games, with son and husband
11. Foraged for food at the grocery store several times
12. Attended one yoga class
13. Attended church to hear fabulous sermon; dragged my husband along
14. Attended board meeting
15. Attended Issues Night
16. Attended meeting with County Executive concerning transitional jobs program
17. Attended organizational breakfast in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. with my son
18. Had date night with my husband
19. Discussed multiple installation impasses with electrician 
20. Provided TLC for sick son and grandson
21. Had lunch date with my husband
22. Spent time with one son watching anime
23. Watched Wonder Boys while my husband was out of town
24. Accepted work help from both my sons 

Last week's focus goal, for the sixth straight week, was "to post five blogs, exercise four times, meditate six times, and make the time to resume writing the novel--before I forget what it's supposed to be about." Highlighted in green on the list above are the "done" items which pertain to this goal.  I continue to keep up with my blog--maybe because it feels so public.  Though I don't have a mass readership, "the internet knows," like the Shadow, whether I make each day's deadline or not.  I am still, however, having difficulty getting my posts up during the a.m., while balancing outside commitments that are all too frequently intruding on my mornings.  I renew my intention to anticipate morning conflicts, and to write ahead whenever possible.

I was more successful this past week in meeting my exercise target.  I am especially glad to have resumed running, after a bout of winter laziness during which I leaned toward biking.  Stationary biking, at the gym or on my own trainer-mounted bike, has the advantage of being something I can do while sitting, and more importantly, while reading.  In motivational slumps, it presents a lower bar I can still get over.  But I am moving out of the maintenance phase of race training and into the building phase, so it is time to get back to the track.  Which I did.

I had a harder time getting around to meditating last week.  My time on the cushion really needs to be the first of the "first things [I am trying to remember to put] first."  I think I am having trouble with the being as opposed to the doing state of meditation, and the indulgent feeling that comes with it.  And my instinct is that the extent to which I am struggling is an indication of how important this activity is to my overall growth and well-being.  

The final piece of my conglomerate focus goal was time spent working on my novel.  Changes in my work schedule last week obliterated my routine writing times.  And extreme overcommitment in addition to compensated obligations claimed too much of the remaining time and sapped my energy to use what there was.  Once again, I got no novel writing done.  The coming week should see a return to my regularly scheduled programming, which should be the stimulus I need to get back to my work-in-progress.  

I have decided to end my experiment with the mega focus goal.  In fact, it seems from this vantage point somewhat of a contradiction in terms.  For the coming week, I will focus on meditating at least 15 minutes, on at least six days.  I am hoping that really focusing on this will increase the likelihood of success, which in turn will build confidence and continued motivation, as my mixed results have not.

In red above is what I see as my most important accomplishment last week.  Like a lot of overworking, over-caring mothers, I have a hard time getting my kids to do their share of household and family work.  But on two separate occasions, I asked for, and received their help when my babysitting schedule clashed with other commitments.  I paid them both for their time, over their objections.  And when one of my appointments was cancelled, instead of immediately relieving my son, I used the time to pick up Mexican Spice lattes for him and me, and to take care of a self-care task I had been neglecting for weeks.  

It sounds small, but this kind of behavior is a sea change for me.