Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. ~William James
Showing posts with label self-regulation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-regulation. Show all posts

Friday, February 24, 2012

Will to [Will]power














So, I'm reading Willpower:  Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength, by Roy Baumeister and John Tierney--as I said I would, at the beginning of this week,  having identified some continuing difficulties of my own with this elusive capacity.

I'm clipping along, encountering one fascinating aspect of self-regulation after another.  And picking up some hints along the way, aimed at enhancing my less-than-steel will.  I've been reading about David Blaine, holding his breath for 17+ minutes;  encased in ice for 63 hours Times Square; and generally engaging in professional displays of self-torture--in between personal bouts of desuetude and self-control lapses.  

I've been reading about research subjects experiencing all sorts of tests, deprivations and stimuli designed to measure and manipulate willpower, from radishes to boredom to sexual stimulation.

And I've been reading about Drew Carey hiring productivity guru David Allen to put him through his GTD [Getting Things Done] paces.  For some unmentionable amount.  And apparently to great effect.

I have certainly been entertained thus far, as the book's dust jacket promised.  And I have learned a lot about human will, and some elements that may strengthen it.  But it remains to be seen whether or not I have the willpower to implement what I'm learning.  Or even to digest the material and translate it into some discrete steps to launch my reprogramming.

I don't have Drew Carey's money.  Or David Blaine's nerve and monomania.  And I really don't like radishes.

On the other hand, I am drawn by the vision of my life with a bit more purposeful action.  So I'll keep reading.  I have at least that much self-control.  Er, willpower.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Procrastinating 101: What We Have Here is a Failure to Self-Regulate
















In this week's Procrastinating 101, we continue to learn from Dr. Timothy Pychyl, author of The Procrastinator's Digest:  A Concise Guide to Solving the Procrastination Puzzle.  His third chapter asks, and answers, the question "What's the Most Important Thing We Need to Know About Procrastination?"

And the answer is . . . 

Procrastination is an issue of self-regulation, or impulse control--which we have read about before.  Pychyl says our procrastinating is directed at "short-term mood repair," and that it is self-reinforcing.  We put off a dreaded or unpleasant task; we feel better; we learn that putting off tasks feels good; we are more likely to do it again.

So what does Pychyl see as the way out of this cycle?

Step 1Get smarter emotionally.  Pychyl defines emotional intelligence--a term widely used since its academic emergence in the mid-1980s, and having trickled into popular parlance by way of talk shows, magazine articles, blogs, even elementary school curricula--as "the ability to effectively identify and utilize emotions to guide behavior."

Apparently, "[r]ecent research has shown that lower emotional intelligence is related to more procrastination" but, thankfully, "[w]e can learn to more effectively perceive, understand and regulate our emotions."

Having recognized the emotional morass that leads to procrastination (and to other "poor choices," as grade school teachers are known to point out), the challenge is to get it together and stop acting out about our feelings.  As in

Step 2Learn to deal with the negative emotions associated with the tasks we tend to procrastinate.  Here's where the mantra for this chapter comes in:  "I won't give in to feel good.  Feeling good now, comes at a cost."

Using this statement to remind ourselves of what we know, we can stay put instead of fleeing the scene of an impending task, and "suck it up."  "If you turn away in an effort to make yourself feel better, it's over," warns Pychyl. 

Pychyl sums up his approach this way:
THINK:
IF I feel negative emotions when I face the task at hand,
THEN I will stay put and not stop, put off a task or run away.
He references the work of Peter Gollwitzer on implementation intentions, which take this IF/THEN form.   The stay put admonishment made me think of the Butt in Chair writer's guide developed by Jennifer Blanchard, author of the excellent, now-defunct-but-still-archived blog Procrastinating Writers

Dr. Pychyl softens the "suck it up" bromide with this suggestion.  We can overcome our discomfort with the negative emotions engendered by unappealing tasks by accessing some of the other thoughts and feelings that are also part of our "inner landscape."  For example, instead of focusing on the fear triggered by a daunting project, we can center our thoughts on the anticipation of success and reward, or on our interest in the content, or on our capable self.  

Again, a pithy treatise.  And because it's short, I still have time to get to some of the things I've been avoiding. . .  

"I won't give in to feel good.  Feeling good now, comes at a cost."

"I won't give in to feel good.  Feeling good now, comes at a cost."

"I won't give in to feel good.  Feeling good now, comes at a cost."

Monday, November 7, 2011

Done for the Last Two Weeks: Having Hit the Wall

One of the blessings of this blog has been the (admittedly not vast) "public" accountability for the way I run my life, which is built into these weekly done lists.
And one of the curses of this blog has been the (thankfully not vast) "public" accountability for the way I stumble while running my life.

This post's title blares last week's missing update. The story behind the story is some serious back pedaling.  The major dose of "good mother" behavior which dominated the last several weeks seems to have resulted in a tantrum-like reaction, in which I found myself unable/unwilling to do anything that a) was optional, and b) required any sort of initiative on my part.

I've decided to think of it as a self-correction.  This designation seems like the shortest path back to what I think of as "my work."  And that includes, but is not limited to, this blog.

Done for the Last Two Weeks:  Oct. 24-Nov. 6, 2011
  1. Ran three times, swam once
  2. Picked up new wetsuit
  3. Attended last Run Better class with Trifaster's Lauren Jensen
  4. Read The Farming of Bones, by Edwidge Danticat; Mothers and Other Liars, by Amy Bourret
  5. Continued to work my two part-time jobs
  6. Published 1 blog post
  7. Continued significant work on current clients' projects
  8. Continued to give nearly full-time support to my daughter and her family as they coped with early arrival of their baby, and my daughter's continuing health problems
  9. Helped my son complete loan papers for school
  10. Went out for three happy hours with my husband
  11. Watched second and third episodes of Boss with my husband
  12. Did laundry
  13. Watched the first two entire seasons of The Good Wife, in an act of utter escapism
  14. Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Traitor to Memory aloud with my husband
  15. Straightened out nagging bill issues
  16. Attended a special meeting on organization's proposed by-laws amendments
  17. Vacuumed several dogs worth of hair off our living room carpet--AGAIN
  18. Took my grandson to his swimming lesson
  19. Straightened, vacuumed, and dusted our bedroom
  20. Reset several clocks and watches back to Standard Time
In between sessions of self-indulgence, I continued to spend significant--though decreasing--amounts of time during the last two weeks helping my daughter and her family deal with the demands and difficulties of her medically complicated postpartum period and the needs of her preemie infant in a Level III NICU miles away. 

And this was still my most important accomplishment.  My daughter is beginning to recover, and my new granddaughter is doing well.  The baby has not yet decided to move beyond passive nourishment, however, which keeps her from coming home for the time being.  And so for now, and for the foreseeable future, Nana-ing remains Job 1.

As part of coping with the stresses of this interval,  my focus goal, from two weeks ago, was to "resume meditating.  Period."   And to show for this?  Another epic fail.  Although I know that meditating is an important element of self-care for me, and a major contributor to the effort to depression-proof my life, I managed to avoid the cushion altogether for the last two weeks.  Part of the tantrum, it would seem.

For the coming week, I am setting a more flexible focus goal, to accommodate the continuing unpredictability of my schedule and my current incorrigible nature.  I am committing myself to practice positive, non self-indulgent self-care, in whatever form I can.  I'll know it when I see it.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Procrastinating 101: The Long and the Short of It












If Dr. Piers Steel is to be believed, we procrastinators may be about to run out of excuses.  (And God knows, we love our excuses!)  It's his persuasive argument, and his damned (good) practical advice that may prove their undoing.

Procrastinating 101 has been focusing these last nine weeks on Dr. Steel's book, The Procrastination Equation:  How to Stop Putting Things Off and Start Getting Stuff Done.  If you have been following its exposition, you may remember Dr. Steel's assertion that poor impulse control is at the heart of most procrastination.  In Chapter Nine, "In Good Time:  Managing Short-term Impulses and Long-term Goals," he lays out the problem more fully, details some creative solutions, and throws in a little ancient Greek literature.  As we have come to expect, Dr. Steel is once again an eminently companionable and unassailably (I looked it up--it's really a word.) knowledgeable tour guide through these regions of Planet Procrastination.

"Impulsiveness," says Steel, "multiplies the effect of delay, making it a major determinant of the Procrastination Equation's outcome."  For those who have not yet seen Steel's formulation, and those who have but have not committed it to memory, the mathematical expression he has devised to represent his theory of procrastination looks like this:



Here low Motivation predicts the big P, Procrastination.  The other elements have been teased out in previous posts (see, particularly, Procrastinating 101: 12-year-olds Get It, So Can We ).

Impulsiveness contributes to the divisor in the equation, so that the more impulsive among us will experience lower motivation, and thus be more inclined to procrastinate.  And, as Dr. Steel warns, "you can't escape your fate.  Impulsiveness is not something you have, but something you are."  Yikes!

But there is hope, and it begins with Odysseus.  Dr. Steel recounts the preparations urged upon Odysseus by the goddess Circe, who knew that he would face, on his return trip from Troy, the temptress Sirens.  Circe advised him to plug his men's ears with wax, and to lash himself to the mast of his ship, so that he would be able to pass through the district of these irresistible creatures and continue his journey.  Thus, Odysseus employed the technique of precommitment.

Dr. Steel recommends we face the fact that temptations too often get the better of us, leading us off task and into putting off what we need to get done.  We would do well to identify our Sirens, and to invest in precommitment.

He offers three contemporary strategies (no ear wax or ship masts required) for precommitting, intriguingly categorized under the heading "Bonding, Satiation and Poison."  For the sake of brevity, and my sanity (it has been a looonnnnnngggggggg week!), I will just hit the highlights here:  

  • Throw Away the Key--The idea here is to devise a way, technological or analog, to block off the exits while focusing on work.  Steel mentions, e.g., a program for Apple users called Freedom, which blocks internet access; Clocky, an alarm clock on wheels that goes berserk when you hit Snooze; and Google's "Take a break" button, which gives the user fifteen minutes of email-free work time.
  • Satiation--This approach addresses our urges and impulses by having us "tank up," scheduling in a modicum of pleasure and relaxation, and then slotting in work around these "appointments."  Dr. Neil Fiore popularized this Unschedule in his book The Now Habit:  A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play.
  • Try Poison--This strategy features penalties & scare tactics.  One example was employed by my ex-husband in his dissertation research on behavior change.  Participants put up $100, which was forfeited to their least favorite cause or charity if they resumed smoking during the study period.  Alternatively, Dr. Steel recommends visualizing in horrifying detail the dire consequences that could result from putting off a dreaded task.


Then there's "Making Attention Pay," Steel's two-pronged advice for diminishing the pull of distractions/temptations.

  • Inside Out:  Pay Attention Please!--We can minimize the appeal of those objects and activities that would keep us from work by altering our perceptions, and thus the level of attention these things command.  Using abstraction and symbolic representation--e.g., focusing on attributes of a desired food, and thus recruiting the prefrontal cortex to compete with the limbic system response of "yum," "gimme"--is one way of doing this.  Another is to run a "smear campaign" on the desired object, attending to its negative qualities and consequences--e.g., weight gain and high cholesterol from junk food; STDs, unwanted pregnancy and a ruined marriage from infidelity; or public disgrace and firing from failure to complete work.
  • Outside In:  Now You See It, Now You Don't (stimulus control)--This approach attempts to limit the environmental cues which distract us.  For example, a dieter might stock the fridge with only healthy food choices.  Those of us who struggle to stay on task might limit the number of windows open on our computer desktops; remove troublesome bookmarks; arrange our work spaces to cue work and not entertainment; incorporate work triggers; and--addressing two of my personal pet peeves--declutter our work space, and maintain "pristine" boundaries between "clashing life domains, typically family and work."  Hard to do for the increasing number of us who work from home, and whose laptops accompany us from one messy and distracting space and location to another.


And finally, Scoring Goals.

Dr. Steel has this to say about goals:
We have already touched on some of what makes a goal good.  In chapter 7, we mentioned that making goals challenging is more inspiring than making them attainable.  Easy goals are attainable. . . .In chapter 8, we focused on making goals meaningful by linking them to personally relevant aspirations.  If you see how present tasks lead to future rewards, you will value them more highly.  In this chapter, we will put the finishing touches on goal setting by putting time back on your side.

  • The Finish Line is Just Ahead--Dr. Steel's suggestion in this section is to proceed toward "concrete, exact" goals by stages, using subgoals.  In this way, we can take advantage of our tendency to work more intensely closer to deadline; a series of intermediate "deadlines" will result in spreading out effort, and a better quality product.  He discusses the issue of "motivational surface tension," and using a technique I first learned from Alan Lakein (in How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life)--setting a mini-goal that gets us started, and more often than not, ultimately engaged in the work we're avoiding.
  • Full Auto--This advice builds on the predictability that flows from build routines and habits of work.  He also urges us to plan for distraction, as in "'If I lose focus, then I will move my attention back to the task.'"


But again, Dr. Steel says all this better than I.  You might want to just read the book yourself.

Next Week:  Chapter Ten--Making it Work.  We're in the home stretch now!



Thursday, June 23, 2011

One or Two Parts of Desire*


Something about my attention span, or what I like to think of as my "hungry mind," has me most often reading several books at once.  And sometimes, two or more authors are wrestling each other for space inside my head.  This is particularly the case when their words and ideas share conceptual and/or psychological acreage.

At present, I am making my way, week by week, through Piers Steel's The Procrastination Equation as part of Put it to Bed's Procrastinating 101 feature.  At the same time, I am reading Martha Beck's The Joy Diet:  10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life.  Because who doesn't want one, right?

And the work of these two writers is intersecting around thoughts of desire.

Dr. Steel is concerned largely with the limbic system, and our difficulty controlling the impulses that arise from it, leading to procrastination.  Dr. Beck has her readers adopting a progression of habits, ranging from "NOTHING"--as in "doing nothing for at least fifteen minutes a day"--to "RISK"--as in "Every day, do at least one frightening thing that contributes to the fulfillment of your desires"--to "FEASTING"--as in "Have at least three square feasts a day [which] may involve food.  Then again it may not."

In week three of my retooling, ala Beck, I am directed to focus on "DESIRE."  "Each day," she instructs, I am to "identify, articulate, and explore at least one of [my] heart's desires."  According to Dr. Beck, desire is something that has been pretty effectively schooled out of us.  We are so busy tending, (or not, as Dr. Steel observes) to all the things that are required of us, and that others expect, that we are not much attuned to what we want.  We have been taught to be suspicious of what we want, and to regard wanting itself as selfish, and also as risky.  Because we expect to be disappointed, wanting something, and acknowledging that disposition, is setting ourselves up.

Dr. Steel is concerned with impulses, and an inability to delay gratification.  But in the conversation he is holding with Dr. Beck inside my head, they find common ground in their concern with what Dr. Beck calls "true" desire.  She says, and I believe Dr. Steel would agree, that the things we are afraid we might want, if we unleashed our minds and hearts, are, in fact, pale imitations of our real desires.  She holds that the addictions, distractions, petty compulsions and cheap amusements that pull at us--and Dr. Steel would say keep us from doing what we should--are not our "heart's desires."

In fact, those heart's desires are what we really should be doing, or concerning ourselves with.  And true procrastination, in some existential sense, might be seen as putting off the life we are meant to live (in Oprah-speak), rather than as the lag time we experience in getting down to business we have not been very intentional about agreeing to.

I find myself woefully out of touch with what I want, but I am looking forward to thinking about it.  For the moment, it seems to be almond M & M's, but I suspect that is not exactly in the realm of a "heart's desire."  Obviously, it will take some work to uncover the real stuff.  But in the meantime, chocolate couldn't hurt, right?
_____________________
*This post's title was suggested by a (much more serious) book I love, entitled Nine Parts of Desire:  The Hidden World of Islamic Women, by Gwendolyn Brooks.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Procrastinating 101--Handicapping Ourselves


















During the French Revolution, peasants expressed their resistance to the ruling order by wedging  shoes (in French, sabots) into the machinery.  Thus, sabotage, and saboteurs were born.  

In Chapter 4 of his book Still Procrastinating?  The No-Regrets Guide to Getting it Done, Dr. Joseph Ferrari brings up this history as background to his discussion of self-sabotage, self-handicapping, and self-regulation.  

Self-sabotage, he says, is behavior that creates an obstacle to successful performance, other than the ineptness or lack of ability we suspect ourselves of, thereby giving us something else to blame our possible poor performance on.  Procrastination is a form of self-sabotage.  Drug and alcohol abuse are others.  According to Ferrari, we engage in such behavior, not to "rage against the machine," but because we fear success and the greater expectations and burdens to which it can expose us.  

Ferrari doesn't talk about it, but my own experience leads me to speculate that at least some of us are also motivated by guilt to self-sabotage.  Failure can be equalizing for those not comfortable with their gifts, privilege, and good fortune, in the face of others' apparently lesser circumstances.  Or we might fear social isolation or romantic rejection if we become too successful, as some women appear to do.

Procrastination and other non optimal approaches also provide the excuses some of us come to rely on.  And somewhat circularly, we sometimes blame outside circumstances, or "the situation," for our procrastinating.  In his discussion of the penchant for excuse-making, Dr. Ferrari mentions the work of C.R. Snyder who, with Raymond Higgins and Rita Stucky, authored a book on the subject with this charming title:  Excuses:  Masquerades in Search of Grace(How could we not want to read a book so named?)

Ferrari goes on to discuss self-handicapping--the ways in which some of us hedge our bets, when we aren't sure of a project's success.

How does procrastination work as a self-handicapping strategy?  If we procrastinate, we don't start on a task until we have barely enough (or not enough) time to complete it.  We can then 1) claim we would have done a better job if only we'd had more time; or 2) shore up our self-esteem and others' opinions of our skill and effort if we happen to succeed anyway, despite the lack of an optimal, or even adequate amount of  time.

In an interesting study conducted by Dr. Ferrari, women procrastinators given a difficult problem to solve chose to work under conditions of distracting noise--a self-selected handicap.  Three other conditions were also manipulated in the research: 1)half the group received strongly positive feedback on their performance on a preceding task;  2) participants were told either that performance on the subsequent task was a significant indicator of their cognitive ability, or that it revealed nothing about this trait; and 3) participants were told either that results would be treated confidentially, or that they would be scored and publicized.  For some reason, Ferrari does not discuss how these three variables played out in the research. But he does conclude that procrastinators are more prone to employing self-handicapping tactics in addition to procrastination itself.

Ferrari uses the results of a study he did with Dr. Diane Tice, showing that men and women both chose to play video games or to engage in some other pleasant task before beginning on a "major task," as evidence of the use of procrastination to self-handicap.  It seems to me, though, that there are other possible interpretations of their choice.  Were these individuals perhaps relaxing before tackling a difficult project; using the chosen activity as a warm-up, that permitted some preliminary gearing up and background strategizing before initiating effort; or compensating themselves for the unpleasant aspects they expected to be part of the endeavor?  Kind of like having a last cigarette before quitting, or a bachelor party before marrying, or a pleasure trip before entering a convent?

Ferrari winds up the chapter with an exploration of self-regulation, a more encompassing and less strict sounding term than the older "self-control."  He relates the results of some work he did with Dr. Robert Emmons that 
found that procrastination is directly related to low self-control and even low self-reinforcement. . . .Interestingly, procrastinators claim that they cannot control their desires, and they tend not to reward themselves for the good things that happen to them.

One of the things, apparently, that we should be regulating is our ability to do the difficult and unpleasant things first, which "research shows," and Dale Carnegie asserted, is the key to success.  But 
procrastinators are unable to engage in strong self-control or to delay their gratification.  In other words, they experience a failure to self-regulate.
Furthermore, 
procrastinators are unable to maintain fast speed and be accurate.  Instead, they perform poorly, making lots of errors and finishing few tasks.
Is Ferrari saying that we differ in this from those who don't procrastinate?  He doesn't make this clear.  And for this procrastinator, anyway, the description doesn't apply.  I have a great degree of self-control, and sometimes delay gratification to the point of self-deprivation.  I can work much faster than most people I know, and am especially accurate.  I finish way too many tasks.  But my congenitally lousy sense of time and limits, and the difficulty I have in sorting and prioritizing the things I give my energy and attention to are what give me trouble.  I get a lot done, but I experience a lot of stress in doing so.  The combination of tackling too many things, and of periodically going on strike, are what comprise my particular brand of procrastination.

I have to say, too, that I sympathize with the artist Ferrari criticizes for her impulsive absorption in painting, which sometimes makes her late for her paid job.  He disparages, too, her lack of satisfaction with her work.  I know it's a stereotype, but for some of us, these qualities are part of an artistic temperament.  I can only imagine what Ferrari would have said of Van Gogh!

Ferrari speaks of self-regulation, like decisiveness in an earlier chapter, as a muscle that can be developed.  As a newbie triathlete, I'm all about muscle development.  But he loses me when he recommends multi-tasking, especially in light of what he had to say earlier in the chapter about self-sabotage and self-handicapping. 

I also take issue with what seems to me to be a linear, and overly narrow notion of  self-regulation.  How does this concept accommodate our multiple/conflicting identities, values, and goals?  For example, time spent on one area of one's life may be important in itself, though it "distracts" us from another significant aspiration.  When I was a graduate student, for example, I remember feeling torn between "my work," and my young daughter, and at a later date, my two young sons.  But time spent with my children was on-task, and properly "self-regulated" with respect to my goal of being a good parent.  Even fun can be a priority, especially as stress relief and health maintenance.  And as we are learning, self-care is vital for continued functioning, as well as for enjoying one's life.

Despite these problems, and although I have some quarrel with its organization and with what seems at times to be disjunction, I do like what Ferrari has to say at the end of this chapter:
Sometimes you need to both reach for the stars with your big dreams and also take a step-by-step, one-day-at-a-time approach.  If you tell yourself your dreams are impossible, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, predicting your defeat.  So keep the dream alive, in your macrocosmic bird's-eye perspective, but put your daily focus on achievable goals that will bring you closer to the main objective.
Good advice.