Stuff I'm Probably Not Going to Do in This Lifetime

I'm planning an easy day today.  So here's an easy post.

I've been thinking of my internal stress factory lately as an overtaxed computer, with too many applications and processes running in the background.  Time to "Force Quit" some of these energy-suckers.  And to "Trash" some altogether. 

By way of mental decluttering, here's some things I'm ready to let go of, from the ridiculous to the sublime.  There are certainly more dreams and schemes to divest, but this is a start.  I'm putting the following to bed:

Stuff I'm Probably Not Going to Do in This Lifetime

Have more kids

Win a Nobel Peace Prize

Win a MacArthur genius grant

Win a Pulitzer Prize

Enter the Peace Corps

Do an Iron Man

Become a concert pianist
Backpack through Europe, or India, or anywhere

Run for office

Go bungee jumping

Get taller

Get a law degree

Become a midwife

Learn to speak French

Pilot a plane

Climb Mt. Everest

Strike it rich

Bowl a 300 game (or, for that matter, break 200)

Become a singer/songwriter

Star in a film

. . .

Although it seems silly, perhaps, I have to admit that I've carried some residue of these aspirations well into my adult life, in fact past midlife.  Really.  And these are just the tip of the iceberg.  I'll need to dig deeper to return my everyday working hard drive to a cool running, streamlined, efficient state.  Purging could become my new addiction. . .

Digging Out From a Backlog of Hope

What is it with magazines?

I've had a pretty bad magazine jones for as long as I can remember.  My mother brought "women's magazines" into the house when I was a kid, those glossy, colorful, enticing compendiums of promise and escape.  Along with an addiction to soap operas, I inherited my fascination with this slickly packaged world of story, advice and products.  And even after years of battling this affliction, I still experience a twitch or two in the presence of a rack of these alluring items.

While still living at home,  I went on to have my own subscriptions/prescriptions to Seventeen and American Girl so I could read "Great Advice About School," and learn whether or not I was "Sabotaging [My] Skin."  And, of course, "What Guys Really [Thought] About [Me]."

As a grown up, I subscribed to  

• Redbook--containing more of same, plus mother stuff and house stuff and some pretty good fiction (until I got mad when I read that Redbook no longer considered me "young" after I passed 35);  
•  Ms., until I faltered from feminist fatigue;  
• Woman's Day, still pretty to look at and down-to-earth practical (though even the day is gendered, apparently);  
• Writer's Digest (if I couldn't get down to writing, at least I could read about it);  
• Poets and Writers (ditto);  
• Prevention, for the hypochondriacal naturalist in me;
• the Utne Reader, because it was smart and all-encompassing, and so was I, by extension; 
• UU World, because the subscription came with my membership in the Unitarian Universalist Service Committee, and it had cool articles;  
• Real Simple, for the eye candy value as much as anything; and  
• Vegetarian Times--again, more read about than cooked. 

(I did not, of course, receive all of these subscriptions at once.) 

In addition to my regular fixes, I relied on the following other sources:

• Impossible-to-resist individual issues that called to me, siren-like, in my captive state in the grocery store check-out
• Used mags from the free library exchange 
• Mags nicked from doctors' offices, the gym, car repair shops, etc. (my only form of petty theft)
• Used and past-date mags from Half Price Bookstore
• Special treat purchases from bookstores and airport shops
• Mags checked out from the library's vast stores
• Mags tossed on the curb by more selective neighbors (I scored several months of nearly pristine Martha Stewart Living this way some years back)
• Mags left in my house by the previous owner, who knew enough not to pack and move them
• And recently, a brand-new left-behind copy of the latest Real Simple, found during deplaning from a nonstop flight to New Orleans. 

After years of clinging to my treasured caches of old issues, I have lately begun to divest myself of this weight of print and images. 

Confession:  I can no longer get through most magazines.  It seems I don't have the patience or the time.  Something is getting lost between the beguiling covers and the articles within.  They no longer deliver on the hope they extend to the enchanted buyer.  Month after month, and year after year, they are still selling organization, perfect skin and hair, inexpensive chic, marital bliss, weight loss, stress reduction, effective parenting, sumptuous and healthful meals, artistic and economic fulfillment, and community contribution. 

Maybe I've lost the ability to suspend disbelief? 

I've pretty much stopped being suckered in the check-out line, though my children still laugh at my familiarity with the latest celebrity gossip following my all-too-frequent trips for foodstuffs.

But I've got a lot more chucking to do before I'm "clean."

The Urge to Keep

keep

from Online Etymology Dictionary

keep (n.)

mid-13c., "care or heed in watching," from keep (v.). Meaning "innermost stronghold of a tower" is from 1580s, perhaps a translation of It. tenazza, with a notion of "that which keeps" (someone or something); the sense of "food required to keep a person or animal" is attested from 1801. For keeps "completely, for good" is Amer.Eng. colloquial, from 1861.

 

keep (v.)

late O.E. [Old English] cepan "to seize, hold," also "to observe," from P.Gmc. [Proto Germanic] *kopijanan, but with no certain connection to other languages. It possibly is related to O.E. capian "to look," from P.Gmc. *kap- (cepan was used c.1000 to render L. observare), which would make the basic sense "to keep an eye on."

The word prob. belongs primarily to the vulgar and non-literary stratum of the language; but it comes up suddenly into literary use c.1000, and that in many senses, indicating considerable previous development. [OED]

Sense of "preserve, maintain" is from mid-14c. Meaning "to maintain in proper order" is from 1550s; meaning "financially support and privately control" (usually in reference to mistresses) is from 1540s. Related: Kept; keeping.

and from Dictionary.com 

keep - verb (used with object)

1. to hold or retain in one's possession; hold as one's own: If you like it, keep it. Keep the change.

2. to hold or have the use of for a period of time: You can keep it for the summer.

3. to hold in a given place; store: You can keep your things in here.

4. to maintain (some action), especially in accordance with specific requirements, a promise, etc.: to keep watch; to keep step.

5. to cause to continue in a given position, state, course, or action: to keep a light burning; to keep a child happy.

EXPAND

People in charge of keeping stuff:  bookkeepers, beekeepers, barkeepers, keepers, innkeepers, Promise keepers, secret keepers, housekeepers, recordkeepers, timekeepers, gamekeepers, lighthouse keepers, groundskeepers, gatekeepers, shopkeepers, scorekeepers, peacekeepers, zookeepers . . .

Keeping we all do:  keeping in mind, keeping clean, keeping our word, keep our noses clean, keeping it together, keeping our chins up, keeping our powder dry, keeping up to date, keeping it real, keeping in touch, keeping it under our hats, keeping on track, keeping warm, keeping our cool, keeping an eye out, keeping a stiff upper lip, keeping up . . .

Stuff we keep:  keepsakes, and waayyyyyy too much other stuff

No wonder The Everyday Minimalist finds that

• 25% of people with 2 car garages don’t park cars in there — they store their junk instead
• The storage facility industry is worth $154 billion dollars, more than the film biz!
• 1 in 11 American households rents a self-storage space, spending $1000/year in rent
• On average, it costs $10/square foot to store items in your home
• The average American receives 49,060 pieces of mail in their lifetime, 1/3 of it is junk mail
• 23% of us pay our bills late and incur fees because we’ve lost track of our statements
• 80% of the clutter in your home or office is a result of disorganization, not lack of space
• Getting rid of clutter would eliminate 40% of your housework in an average home
• We spend one whole year of our entire lives, just looking for lost items
• As a whole, Americans spend 9 million hours a day looking for lost items

I for one intend to keep on working on keeping less.

Done for the Week: Not Exactly the Best Laid Plans

Stuff got done last week.  Not all of it planned.  In fact, not much of it.

 

It was one of those weeks for which the "done list" was designed--a device to foster self-forgiveness, and to document forward motion.

Done for the Week:  Jan. 23-29, 2012

1. Biked three times; did hip-strengthening exercises twice
   
2. Watched three basketball games with various family members
3. Saw orthopedist to deal with foot injury; awaiting insurance approval for ordered MRI
4. Finished reading Elizabeth George's A Traitor to Memory aloud with my husband; Began reading A Place of Hiding
5. Read Please Look After Mom, by Kyung-Sook Shin; Brideshead Revisited, by Evelyn Waugh
6. Continued to work my two part-time jobs, putting in extra hours
7. Published 1 blog post
8. Continued work on current clients' projects
9. Attended Great Lakes Multisport Expo
10. Worked on Voter ID database
11. Attended State of the Union address party 
12. Attended Social Justice meeting
13. Attended Jobs & Transportation subcommittee meeting
14. Did laundry 
15. Continued to support my son in his finally successful search for an auto mechanic internship 
16. Began supporting my other son in his college application process
17. Had lunch and breakfast dates with my husband
18. Mailed March of Dimes appeal to my neighbors
19. Meditated 3 times 
20. Got dishwasher repaired
21. Completed repair on one bedroom closet door
22. Purged many pounds of old paperwork
23. Cleaned microwave

Once again, the most important thing I accomplished last week was continuing to fight the good fight to reclaim our house.  The degree of order I have achieved thus far is providing a bit of momentum to the overall campaign, and I am enjoying keeping up the spaces I have cleared thus far.  It has been years since I succumbed to the growing disorder of my apparently undomesticatable housemates.  Maybe it has just taken me this long to venture a rematch.  But I am feeling hopeful.  And my roomies are at least making appropriate noises about pitching in a bit.  To be continued. . .

Last week's focus goal was to schedule three exercise sessions, three meditation sessions, and publishing of two blog posts (in addition to this one); and to stick to the schedule as circumstances permit, and re-work it, as they demand.  As John Becker said at the conclusion of the episode where his corner of the universe began to unravel, negatively impacting all the people around him, when he tried eating at a restaurant other than his regular haunt, "I think we learned three very valuable lessons."  Naturally, my lessons were somewhat different than his, since I was attempting a different kind of change, and since I am not a TV character in a sitcom set in the Bronx, and blessed with pretty darn good writers.  But you get the point.  So my lessons?  1:  I suck at schedules--making them and sticking to them.  2:  As Becker learned, "No good ever comes from change.  Ever."  And 3.  My life at present is not exactly schedule-friendly, even if I had the knack. 

All this is by way of saying that I didn't make much of a schedule, and I didn't keep to it much either.  I did manage to bike twice, to meditate twice, and to publish NO posts after the first one last week.  In my defense, several major departures from my anticipated work hours decimated my already half-assed plans.  

Life just keeps happening, and happening, and happening. . . . As in the days when my own children's illnesses blew up my days, and my mood, I now find myself similarly affected by my grandchildren's illnesses.  Last week's childcare "schedule" was greatly altered to accommodate a killer virus that featured pink eye, stomach distress, and the kind of sneezing and sniffling only a pre-schooler can do.  And then there was the trek to the other side of the planet to support my son's quest for an internship.  And the two hours spent in the doctor's office investigating a remedy for my injured foot.  And the snow.  And the repairman who bumped me to last on his list.  And the committee meeting I'd forgotten to put on my calendar.  And the challenges of sharing three cars among four drivers each with their own scheduling changes and challenges. . . . And . . . and . . . and . . .


For next week, I am returning to a simpler, smaller focus goal--to meditate as many days as I can manage.  This "change agent" is clearly not anywhere near ready for prime time.  (I read this evening, while on the stationary bike, that meditation can help grow the capacity for self-discipline.) 

Done for the Week: Out of Time and Out of Focus

I am desperately seeking routine.  In particular, one that will support/permit the blogging productivity (two to three posts per week) that I aspire to. 

Once again, I have fallen short. 

Here's why, in part:

Done for the Week:  Jan. 16-22, 2012

1. Made appointment with orthopedist to deal with foot injury
2. Biked once, and did weight training--foot injury prevented additional dry-land exercise; did hip-strengthening exercises twice
   
3. Watched two basketball games with various family members
4. Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Traitor to Memory aloud with my husband--almost finished
5. Read Smokin' Seventeen by Janet Evanovich; am in the middle of "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes" in The Complete Stories of Sherlock Holmes, by Arthur Conan Doyle, and The House by the Sea:  A Journal, by May Sarton 
6. Continued to work my two part-time jobs, putting in extra hours
7. Published 1 blog post
8. Continued work on current clients' projects
9. Attended training and was sworn in as deputy voter registrar
10. Attended new church as visitor
11. Attended 1 yoga class
12. Did laundry 
13. Continued to support my son in his search for an internship
14. Had lunch and breakfast dates with my husband
15. Negotiated dishwasher repair appointment and customer relations deal; ongoing. . .
16. Shopped for final family Christmas celebration
17. Hosted final family Christmas celebration 
18. Paid the monthly bills
19. Meditated 3 times
20. Continued major decluttering, getting rid of approximately ten years of old bills and financial reports
21. Straightened, vacuumed and dusted living room

The most important thing I accomplished last week was the continuation of our household effort, mostly "womaned" by me, to dig out from the accretion of "the childrearing years."  I am entering a phase still short of "Maintenance", but beginning to be able to see more and more of the floor space in my ranch-style, full- (and fully occupied) basement house.  And lo and behold, we have closets!  And drawers!  And shelves and countertops!  I'm really counting on Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project promise that "outer order [will] contribute to inner calm."  If I continue at my current pace of outer "ordering," I should be comatose soon.

My goal for last week was to focus on walking; non-weight-bearing hip strengthening exercises; and swimming--and to make it to the gym three times. I can't say the week's effort was a smashing success in this realm.  As item 1 above reveals, I made it to the gym only one time, though I did manage to combine biking with weight-training.  I continue to have a hard time making myself swim.  Arctic temperatures, my hair-washing schedule, and a crazy round of appointments and activities provided a barrier sufficient to discourage my mild aquatic interest.  And despite my dog's encouragement (in the form of whining, and stealing pillows--his protest-of-choice), I didn't walk at all--other than from one job to another, and one room to another in search of sweets.  I did squeeze in a couple of hip exercise sessions, in addition to the one yoga class that wasn't preempted by an expanding work schedule.  But clearly, I could have done better. 

I had also planned to find more time for this blog last week.  Unfortunately, the universe seems determined to eat the time slots previously reserved for posting.  I'm not sure how this is going to shake out in future, as my work schedule and young-man-launching activities and obligations are growing like Topsy just now.  I am particularly challenged by an erratic schedule, which changes from day to day, week to week, and semester to semester. 

My focus goal for this coming week is to schedule three exercise sessions, three meditation sessions, and publishing of two blog posts (in addition to this one); and to stick to the schedule as circumstances permit, and re-work it, as they demand.

Wish me luck.  I don't seem to be especially good at "pre-meditated" work. (Pardon the pun, which I confess was intended.)

Done for the Week: So Soon Again

Last night's post, which was supposed to be last Monday's, reported on the previous week's achievements.  It's a bit time-warpy, I'll admit, but getting back on track requires this close-upon-the-heels account of the week that ended last night. 

Here's what got done:  (I know, I know.  Passive tense a no-no.)

Done for the Week:  Jan. 9-15, 2012

1. Consulted physical therapist for injury evaluation
   
2. Watched two basketball games, and against my feminist principles part of one football game, with various family members
3. Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Traitor to Memory aloud with my husband--nearing the end
4. Read "The Valley of Fear" from The Complete Stories of Sherlock Holmes, by Arthur Conan Doyle
5. Continued to work my two part-time jobs
6. Published 1 blog post
7. Continued work on current clients' projects
8. Spent 6 hours working on recall campaign
9. Helped with and attended recall celebration
10. Went out for a drink with recall friends
11. Attended board meeting
12. Attended annual prayer breakfast celebrating the life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
13. Attended 2 yoga classes
14. Did laundry 
15. Called my mother
16. Continued to support my son in his search for an internship
17. Took my son out to dinner 
18. Had lunch and breakfast dates with my husband
19. Arranged dishwasher repair
20. Arranged final Christmas celebration, delayed by travel and new baby in the family
21. Meditated 3 times
22. Continued setting up new bedroom with my husband
23. Continued to help my son set up his new bedroom
24. Continued refurbishing upstairs bathroom, including major cleaning
25. Cleaned or reorganized upstairs linen closet
26. Continued major decluttering

The most important thing I accomplished last week was the completion of Phase 2 of a major household shift, involving exchanging bedrooms and bathrooms with my oldest son.   We are reaching the stage where the improvements are beginning to motivate continued progress.  Having the week off from the recently concluded recall process, before beginning to work on voter ID and registration, should free up some time for this ongoing project. 

My focus goal for last week was to make time to continue exercising regularly.  How did I do?  As my son would say, "Epic Fail!"  I did manage to get to yoga class twice, but otherwise succumbed to fatigue, busyness, and an increasingly bothersome foot injury.  The physical therapist I consulted about my foot ordered me to see an orthopedist, which I plan to do this week.  In the meantime, I intend to focus on walking, non-weight-bearing hip strengthening exercises, and swimming, and to make it to the gym three times this week.

And oh, yeah, concentrate on finding more time for Put it to Bed.

Done for the Week: In the Nick of Time

Clearly, today is not Monday.  Not by a long shot.  In fact, it's very nearly next Monday.  2012 is shaping up to be a very busy year.   

Put it to Bed is now in its official third year, and much work remains on my personal reorganization project.  I am in the process of reassessing the structure of this blog, given the numerous enterprises in which I am engaged.  In the meantime, I intend to continue posting two to three times weekly--generally beginning with Monday's "Done for the Week" accountability exercise.

For this (nearly gone) week, in case you've been waiting breathlessly to read this update, you can breathe again.  Here's the list!

Done for the Week:  Jan. 2-8, 2012

1. Biked once, ran once, walked twice
   
2. Watched three basketball games with various family members
3. Took my dog to the dog park with my husband, and on one long walk 
   
4. Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Traitor to Memory aloud with my husband--only a few chapters left
5. Read "A Study in Scarlet" and "The Sign of the Four" from The Complete Stories of Sherlock Holmes, by Arthur Conan Doyle
6. Continued to work my two part-time jobs
7. Published 1 blog post
8. Continued work on current clients' projects
9. Spent 6 hours working on recall campaign
10. Attended 2 yoga classes
11. Did laundry 
12. Meditated 5 times
13. Moved into new bedroom with my husband
14. Helped my son set up his new bedroom
15. Began refurbishing upstairs bathroom
16. Found new bed for son on Craigslist
17. Removed several large furniture pieces and one old carpet from house for disposal/donation 
18. Participated in annual Half Price Books shopping with my family, using our Christmas gift cards
19. Sold books to Half Price Books

The most important thing I accomplished last week was the completion of Phase 1 of a major household shift, involving exchanging bedrooms and bathrooms with my oldest son.   

A little background:  Back in late August of 2005, while my husband was in Greenville, Mississippi picking up my Katrina-refugee parents, I was busy turning the main floor of our house into what would have to pass for an assisted living facility for the duration of their unspecified-length stay with us.  Among other things, this involved opening up our basement door and shoving the contents of our bedroom down the stairs.  

Mom and Dad and their elderly Bichon were with us for three months.  Long enough for my husband and I to settle in in our new location.  And ensuing calamities over the next several years were distracting enough to keep us there.  Until now.

One of the good things about deciding to switch rooms with our son is the opportunity for all of us to reorganize our belongings, and get a fresh start on domestic order.  One of the bad things, for us, is the downsizing necessitated by moving into much smaller quarters.  We are still throwing things out, discarding furniture and hundreds of books and no-longer-loved clothing. 

I am alternately loving and hating this process.  I am putting in a lot of hours at it.

My focus goal for the period in question was to make time to exercise at least three times, and to meditate daily.  I had intended one session each, running (sort of), biking and swimming. I did fairly well, though swimming once became walking twice.  I have a hard time facing the prospect of getting wet in January.  I did succeed in meditating most days, partly by lowering my standards, allowing myself to count fifteen minutes of YouTube-assisted "meditation" as one session.

For the week that is now almost over I planned to focus on continuing to exercise regularly.  Preview of tomorrow's post:  I will meet that goal if I stay up the rest of the night, swimming (in my bathtub?), biking (on my trainer) and running (on a potentially broken foot). . . .

Done for the Week: Always Behind

Another week of activity, to-do items crossed off, milestones in the rear view.  And yet, a deep down feeling of being perpetually behind.  Something systemic, I believe.  Something unlikely to be resolved by making lists and writing about my inability to get through them.

I did, however, do these things.

Done for the Week:  July 18-24, 2011

1. Completed Week 11 of 15-week triathlon training program; ran twice; swam twice; biked three times
2. Swam twice, ran twice, biked once with my training partner
3. Biked once with my husband
4. Signed up for additional triathlon prep camp
5. Replaced swim cap & goggles left at the pool
6. Made appointment to get new contacts 
7. Went with my husband to pick out his new glasses
8. Finished The Apothecary Rose, by Candace Robb
9. Continued to work my two part-time jobs 
10. Published 2 blog posts 
11. Shared Happy Hour dinner with my husband
12. Watched Treme with my husband
13. Returned to reading Elizabeth George's In Pursuit of the Proper Sinner aloud with my husband
14. Saw Beginners with my husband
15. Took my dog to the dog park, with my husband
16. Attempted (prematurely aborted) game of Pictionary with my family
17. Saw new Harry Potter movie with my husband and son
18. Met with prospective web client
19. Met with current web client; worked on project
20. Drove with about-to-be licensed teenager several times 
21. Participated in driving my not-quite-licensed-to-drive son to and from work
22. Finally cracked the code for road test appointment; succeeded in moving appointment up six weeks, to this Wednesday (Yay!)
23. Worked for recall candidate
24. Made major progress on backyard reclamation
25. Planted more flowers, started putting down mulch; got three bee stings
26. Went to outdoor jobs prayer vigil (in 100+ degree heat!)
27. Attended Issues Night
28. Attended 1 yoga class; sustained hamstring injury
29. Called my mom
30. Picked up prize won in library reading program
31. Listened to my son's amazing hip hop creations online
32. Continued progress in cleaning/straightening/decluttering work room, bedroom & kitchen  

My most important accomplishment last week was squeezing in time with my family.  This, despite the fact that, to a man/woman, all of them would say that I was too busy, and barely available.  In part, they are right.  In part, they are reacting to the sea change over the past couple of years, as I take back some of my energy and time from absorption in family tasks and responsibilities.  They may not think so, but they are still first in my heart.   

Last week's focus goal, back by not-so-popular demand, was to declutter our house, involving my housemates in the excavation, and starting with the kitchen, my work room, and our bedroom.  I am embarrassed to admit that five straight weeks of "focusing" on this goal have not produced the desired results.  It is beginning to dawn on me that I have left no room in my crowded schedule for this project, depending on "working in" this effort to achieve the desired end.  And like the overflow patients "worked in" to a doctor's bulging appointment calendar, these rooms are still waiting.  And waiting.  Their time in the queue has produced little in the way of real attention.  

Our bedroom saw the most improvement, though it has yet to be completely rehabbed.  But it's close.  The other two rooms see the most daily use, the kitchen in particular.  So reclaiming them requires dealing with continuing accrual of detritus, and making a dent in the significant backlog.

Given the scope of the problem, and my tardy recognition of the real barriers to its solution, I have decided to shift my focus this week to creating a realistic schedule that reflects my many current commitments.  When I can be more strategic about my use of time, it should be easier to defend against additional incursions of responsibility (by using that two-letter word I have so much trouble with), and to prioritize projects in a way that will allow me to feel that I'm making progress. 

Procrastinating 101: The Long and the Short of It

If Dr. Piers Steel is to be believed, we procrastinators may be about to run out of excuses.  (And God knows, we love our excuses!)  It's his persuasive argument, and his damned (good) practical advice that may prove their undoing.

Procrastinating 101 has been focusing these last nine weeks on Dr. Steel's book, The Procrastination Equation:  How to Stop Putting Things Off and Start Getting Stuff Done.  If you have been following its exposition, you may remember Dr. Steel's assertion that poor impulse control is at the heart of most procrastination.  In Chapter Nine, "In Good Time:  Managing Short-term Impulses and Long-term Goals," he lays out the problem more fully, details some creative solutions, and throws in a little ancient Greek literature.  As we have come to expect, Dr. Steel is once again an eminently companionable and unassailably (I looked it up--it's really a word.) knowledgeable tour guide through these regions of Planet Procrastination.

"Impulsiveness," says Steel, "multiplies the effect of delay, making it a major determinant of the Procrastination Equation's outcome."  For those who have not yet seen Steel's formulation, and those who have but have not committed it to memory, the mathematical expression he has devised to represent his theory of procrastination looks like this:

Here low Motivation predicts the big P, Procrastination.  The other elements have been teased out in previous posts (see, particularly, Procrastinating 101: 12-year-olds Get It, So Can We ).

Impulsiveness contributes to the divisor in the equation, so that the more impulsive among us will experience lower motivation, and thus be more inclined to procrastinate.  And, as Dr. Steel warns, "you can't escape your fate.  Impulsiveness is not something you have, but something you are."  Yikes!

But there is hope, and it begins with Odysseus.  Dr. Steel recounts the preparations urged upon Odysseus by the goddess Circe, who knew that he would face, on his return trip from Troy, the temptress Sirens.  Circe advised him to plug his men's ears with wax, and to lash himself to the mast of his ship, so that he would be able to pass through the district of these irresistible creatures and continue his journey.  Thus, Odysseus employed the technique of precommitment.

Dr. Steel recommends we face the fact that temptations too often get the better of us, leading us off task and into putting off what we need to get done.  We would do well to identify our Sirens, and to invest in precommitment.

He offers three contemporary strategies (no ear wax or ship masts required) for precommitting, intriguingly categorized under the heading "Bonding, Satiation and Poison."  For the sake of brevity, and my sanity (it has been a looonnnnnngggggggg week!), I will just hit the highlights here:  

• Throw Away the Key--The idea here is to devise a way, technological or analog, to block off the exits while focusing on work.  Steel mentions, e.g., a program for Apple users called Freedom, which blocks internet access; Clocky, an alarm clock on wheels that goes berserk when you hit Snooze; and Google's "Take a break" button, which gives the user fifteen minutes of email-free work time.
• Satiation--This approach addresses our urges and impulses by having us "tank up," scheduling in a modicum of pleasure and relaxation, and then slotting in work around these "appointments."  Dr. Neil Fiore popularized this Unschedule in his book The Now Habit:  A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play.
• Try Poison--This strategy features penalties & scare tactics.  One example was employed by my ex-husband in his dissertation research on behavior change.  Participants put up $100, which was forfeited to their least favorite cause or charity if they resumed smoking during the study period.  Alternatively, Dr. Steel recommends visualizing in horrifying detail the dire consequences that could result from putting off a dreaded task.

Then there's "Making Attention Pay," Steel's two-pronged advice for diminishing the pull of distractions/temptations.

• Inside Out:  Pay Attention Please!--We can minimize the appeal of those objects and activities that would keep us from work by altering our perceptions, and thus the level of attention these things command.  Using abstraction and symbolic representation--e.g., focusing on attributes of a desired food, and thus recruiting the prefrontal cortex to compete with the limbic system response of "yum," "gimme"--is one way of doing this.  Another is to run a "smear campaign" on the desired object, attending to its negative qualities and consequences--e.g., weight gain and high cholesterol from junk food; STDs, unwanted pregnancy and a ruined marriage from infidelity; or public disgrace and firing from failure to complete work.
• Outside In:  Now You See It, Now You Don't (stimulus control)--This approach attempts to limit the environmental cues which distract us.  For example, a dieter might stock the fridge with only healthy food choices.  Those of us who struggle to stay on task might limit the number of windows open on our computer desktops; remove troublesome bookmarks; arrange our work spaces to cue work and not entertainment; incorporate work triggers; and--addressing two of my personal pet peeves--declutter our work space, and maintain "pristine" boundaries between "clashing life domains, typically family and work."  Hard to do for the increasing number of us who work from home, and whose laptops accompany us from one messy and distracting space and location to another.

And finally, Scoring Goals.

Dr. Steel has this to say about goals:

We have already touched on some of what makes a goal good.  In chapter 7, we mentioned that making goals challenging is more inspiring than making them attainable.  Easy goals are attainable. . . .In chapter 8, we focused on making goals meaningful by linking them to personally relevant aspirations.  If you see how present tasks lead to future rewards, you will value them more highly.  In this chapter, we will put the finishing touches on goal setting by putting time back on your side.

• The Finish Line is Just Ahead--Dr. Steel's suggestion in this section is to proceed toward "concrete, exact" goals by stages, using subgoals.  In this way, we can take advantage of our tendency to work more intensely closer to deadline; a series of intermediate "deadlines" will result in spreading out effort, and a better quality product.  He discusses the issue of "motivational surface tension," and using a technique I first learned from Alan Lakein (in How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life)--setting a mini-goal that gets us started, and more often than not, ultimately engaged in the work we're avoiding.
• Full Auto--This advice builds on the predictability that flows from build routines and habits of work.  He also urges us to plan for distraction, as in "'If I lose focus, then I will move my attention back to the task.'"

But again, Dr. Steel says all this better than I.  You might want to just read the book yourself.

Next Week:  Chapter Ten--Making it Work.  We're in the home stretch now!

Done for the Week: Inching Forward

Eek!  Look over there, to the right.  See what it says?  No, not all that subscribe, search, quote, About Me blah blah.  Just under all that.  Yeah, that's it.  "2011 is 52% complete!"  Which means . . . . Well, we all know what it means.  

 

We're into the second half of this year.  Are we any closer to where we're going--besides the eventual "unto dust" return?

 

I don't know about you, but here's what I got done last week.  In the Grand Scheme of things, which I try to avoid thinking about most days, it doesn't seem like so much. 

Done for the Week:  July 4 - 10, 2011

1. Completed Week 9 of 15-week triathlon training program; ran twice; swam twice; biked twice
2. Swam twice, ran twice, biked once with my training partner 
3. Visited the bike shop for training and race purchases
4. Continued nutrition education; tweaked my hydration approach
5. Finished Three Stages of Amazement, by Carol Edgarian; 
6. Continued to work my two part-time jobs 
7. Published 3 blog posts 
8. Began family Harry Potter Film Festival with Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
9. Took dog and family to the dog park
10. Met again with major new website client; launched his blog; made progress on site redesign
11. Visited Apple Genius Bar to discuss computer problems, strategize solution
12. Went out driving with learning teenager several times 
13. Participated in driving my not-quite-licensed-to-drive son to his job
14. Worked on cracking the code for road test appointment; minor success so far
15. Volunteered with recall campaign 
16. Made major progress on backyard reclamation
17. Completed sandbox
18. Took mower in for repair
19. Bought new plants for yard
20. Repaired several months old dishwasher, with my son (Apparently, it's not a garbage disposal.  I'm beginning to wonder if it's a dishwasher!)
21. Put away the last of our Christmas decorations (blush!)
22. Supported my dyslexic 20-year-old son in navigating his first 8-hr.-long solo road trip
23. Continued progress in cleaning/straightening/decluttering work room, bedroom & kitchen 

Last week's most important accomplishment, I believe, was moving forward on my new client's website.  I can only give a half day a week to working on this account, given my other commitments.  But my client's work is very important, in my opinion, and I am excited to be contributing to it.  He just accepted an invitation to speak at a UN-sponsored international venue in a few weeks.  I will be stealing what time I can find between now and then to finalize the first stage of the new design.

Last week's focus goal was a third-week continuation of my intention to declutter our house, involving my housemates in the excavation, and starting with the kitchen, my work room, and our bedroom.  Somewhat disappointingly, I am not there yet.  I plan to keep working at it, in my "spare" moments.  As to my housemates, they keep leaving town.  My husband was gone for work from early Monday morning (yes, the 4th of July) through late Thursday last week.  My most available son will be 8 hours away for most of this week.  The other son spends what time he is not at work with the friends who will be leaving for college in a few weeks; he is deeply engaged in his own Last Hurrah project.  And the dog doesn't have opposable thumbs.  

At least I finally left the worst of my summer virus behind, and am now at about 90%--still coughing, but having more energy.  For this week, then, I will continue the focus on our cluttered environs, and I will make an effort to get back to yoga and meditation.  I don't especially like splitting my "focus," such as it is, in this way.  But I am reluctant to abandon the house-straightening goal only about a third of the way through.  And yoga and meditation keep me sane.  More or less.  It is time to attend to reviving my practice.

This morning, though, I have to add gutter-cleaning to my list.  A brief torrent, followed by an ominous basement trickle, brought that little item to my attention.  "Life is what happens. . ." and all.