Done for the Week: Up the River

Another crazy busy week.  And the coming one promises to be worse.  Lots of stuff seems to be getting done; not much of it particularly well planned.  Planning takes a bit more time and energy than seems to be available to me just now.

At any rate, here's the list.


Done for the Week:  Mar. 12-18, 2012

1. Swam once with my workout partner; canoed once
2. Worked with physical therapist twice to restore injured foot
3. Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Place of Hiding aloud with my husband
4. Read The Black Cat, by Martha Grimes; Rise and Shine, by Anna Quindlen
5. Continued reading Proust's Remembrance of Things Past
6. Continued to work my two part-time jobs
7. Published 4 Put it to Bed blog posts
8. Continued to participate more in the BlogHer community
9. Continued work on current clients' projects
10. Resumed work on previous client's large project
11. Attended two yoga classes
12. Did laundry
13. Continued college conversations with youngest son
14. Meditated 2 times
15. Straightened my work room
16. Attended Board meeting
17. Attended Issues Night meeting; joined new voter id task force
18. Traveled to Minneapolis with my husband and one son, to visit with my stepdaughter and her family
19. Met my newest step-grandson
20. Experienced a "wild ride" adventurous late evening canoe trip down the St. Croix River
21. Celebrated St. Patrick's Day Eve Happy Hour with my husband
22. Spent extra time babysitting my sick grandson
23. Took my dog to the dog park

The most important thing I did last week was traveling with my husband and son to visit my stepdaughter and her family, including their new baby.  

I have often commented that my "blended" family is more like something out of a Cuisinart gone wrong.  At this late date in my second--and last--marriage, I wish to provide all of us with as many pleasant experiences as possible.  And although this one required sitting in a car for more than 16 hours, among other inconveniences, it was completely worth it.  Wedging a seven-mile canoe trip, between river banks dotted with snow, against the wind and the dwindling light, sandwiched into a 2-1/2 hours round trip by car from their house, was totally over the top--and again, well worth it.  A high point was rowing past an island whose trees were filled with blue heron nests, and watching the beautiful awkward birds take flight.

We also took the scenic route home from Minneapolis, driving along the banks of the Mississippi.  The riverfront vistas of  bluffs and locks and aspen filled our eyes and souls with unaccustomed wonder.

Back in the everyday world, last week's focus goal was "to continue the effort to meditate regularly and to write every day for the remainder of March."

As in previous weeks, I continue to have difficulty pulling this one off.  According to all the magazine articles I peruse while on a stationary bike or at my physical therapist's office, all the books I'm slogging through, and all the blogs I consult, it should be a simple matter to effect these habit changes.  All I have to do is implement the programs dictated by the "new science of the brain," and voila!  I should be meditating and writing up a storm, as desired.

But as with my governor's job creation approach, "it's not working."   However, I'm not being recalled--at least not yet--and so I have some time to get it right. 

Next week:  same focus goal, same resolve in the face of anticipated same uncooperative circumstances.  I plan to tweak, and tweak some more.

Dr. Mom, Nurse Nana, and Undoing My To-Do List

As a mother for thirty-four years, and a grandmother for four, you'd think I would have figured this out by now.

Kids get sick!  And then the other kids get sick!  And then I get sick!

I'm sick of this!

One of the most frequent interruptions to work I have tried to do, and a life I have tried to make, has been the illnesses of children.  Acute and chronic.  Slight and more serious.  Physical and mental.  And quite often, some combination of these, and affecting more than one child at a time.  And always requiring some alteration of my routine, either minor or grand.

I accept that providing the care and nurturance needed to support these children who depend on me in their return to health and functioning is my responsibility.  Not my responsibility alone, but one that has fallen mainly to me, if for no other reason than that I am capable of fulfilling it.  Exceptionally capable.

At present, my household includes one minor (in his late teens), and one young adult, in addition to a spouse who is by nature helpless when it comes to dealing with his own incapacitations, let alone those of others.  Additionally, I provide part-time childcare for my daughter's four-year-old and five-month-old.  I am no longer chiefly responsible for any of these individuals.  But their illnesses still throw a wrench in my works, as they have done this week--what with the extra trips for Pediacare, and for prescriptions and sick food; the extra hours spent sitting on the floor with a barfy preschooler; the worrying and advising as my asthmatic, acutely ill, and recently employed son learns to work while sick.  The chicken soup.

But here's the thing.  Not only is it inherently stressful to deal with sick people, and particularly small sick people.  There's all that regression, the whining and screaming and demandingness.  And there's the barfing, the uncovered sneezing, the shiny green snot on the upper lips.  The hacking cough that hurts to hear.  And the loss of sleep, the twenty-four-sevenness of the whole thing.  But added to all this are the demands of work that are incompatible with this job of home nursing.  Demands that don't go away, just because we are not in a position to respond to them. 

In our society, we don't arrange our work lives to accommodate illness, though it is pretty much a given that it will occur.  And it is generally women who pay the price of this lack of "intelligent design."  For some of us who are employed outside the home, it is an issue of paid, or unpaid sick leave.  Some workers cannot take time off, period, to deal with illness.  Others must sacrifice income to do so.

In my community, we recently passed a paid sick leave ordinance, which was subsequently stopped by an injunction; then the injunction was overturned on appeal; then the governor signed into law a bill blocking the ordinance.  The ordinance would have required that employers allow workers to earn paid sick leave, which could be used for their own or family members' illnesses.  It would have been a major benefit to low income women and their children.  Other communities have passed measures mandating paid sick leave, and still others have attempted to do so.  The National Partnership for Women and Families is working to establish support for national legislation providing for paid sick leave.

It will never be fun or easy to take care of sick children.  Or to be sick ourselves.  But we shouldn't be punished for stepping up to the task.

In addition to the paid sick leave issue, there is the societal more that work must come first.  No excuses.  This expectation is increasingly problematic as work creeps into our homes, and beyond its workday boundaries, with email, texts and smartphones expanding our accessibility.  It is difficult to contend with the feelings of guilt and resentment engendered by these requirements while simultaneously carrying barf buckets, washing extra laundry, administering medicines, visiting doctors, taking temperatures, and providing TLC.

In this environment, it is a radical act--one that I am trying to educate myself to perform--to let oneself off the hook.  So this week, I intend to let go the work that interferes with what I need to do for the sick people in my family.  And I will not push said work into the time I need for rest, so that I don't get sick.  'Cuz God knows, no one has time to take care of me!

Done for the Week: The Frailty of My Powers

Twenty-one years ago, my middle child was born in the early hours of Valentine's Day.  And into a complicated family structure that has meant multiple celebrations.

Add to that our culture's Valentine's Day hype and promotion, which lays on a host of rituals and expectations, from personally addressed cards for the classmates of each of our children to blissful romantic rendezvous with our mates.  Stir in a little perfectionism, a pinch of über-mothering, a spouse's long-distance commute, and an abundance of sugar (what with all the cakes, and the chocolate), and . . . voila!  My February crazies.

Of course, now that he's 21, and his brother is not far behind, we are not preparing 20+ Valentines each, or sending birthday treats to school.  My son bought donuts himself for his new workmates.  But it was a special birthday, requiring a bit more than the usual fuss, and entailing a rite of passage or two that invited parental "guidance." 

In between icing cakes and hosting parties, I tried to get a few things done.  Here's the list:

Done for the Week:  Feb. 13-Feb. 19, 2012

1. Biked twice; swam once with my workout partner
   
2. Finally chased down diagnosis of foot injury (not wonderful, but not fatal)
3. Got my husband and one son to the gym with me
4. Watched two basketball games with various family members
5. Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Place of Hiding aloud with my husband
6. Read Death of an Expert Witness by P.D. James
7. Continued reading Proust's Remembrance of Things Past
8. Continued to work my two part-time jobs
9. Continued participating in BlogHer's NaBloPoMo
10. Published 7 blog posts
11. Continued work on current clients' projects
12. Met with my adbook successor
13. Met with new communication team's members
14. Attended one yoga class
15. Did laundry 
16. Celebrated son's twenty-first birthday, at 3 separate family gatherings/outings 
17. Continued college conversations with youngest son
18. Meditated 2 times
19. Straightened my work room
20. Attended board meeting
21. Took my dog to the dog park
22. Gave my husband minor assistance with taxes
23. Celebrated Valentine's Day with my husband, in the background of Valentine's Day birthday observance

As in the previous two weeks, my most important accomplishment last week was continuing to participate in BlogHer's NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month), which required posting a blog entry each day.  In the relative ease with which I am managing to stay with this undertaking, I am rediscovering how much I love blogging, and how much time I can make for writing when I commit to it.  When I am truly into it, it is the kind of work that doesn't feel like work.  I am learning something here.

Last week's focus goal was to try to meditate most days first thing in the morning.  Number of mornings on which I meditated?  One.  And that's using the word "meditate" loosely, to include some nearly pre-conscious, and all too brief focus on breathing.  My grade in this area?  F-

I don't think it's that I don't want to meditate.  In fact, at times I long for it.  Just never when I could actually be doing it.  

I've decided to move the book Willpower, by Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney, to the top of my book pile, since 

1.  Daniel Gilbert--of Harvard, the PBS series This Emotional Life, and the book Stumbling on Happiness says it is

sinfully delicious . . . .[and a] fascinating account of the exciting new science of self-control, told by the scientist who made it happen and the journalist who made it news.

and

2.  Regular meditation is supposed to grow my willpower/self-control/discipline, and I can't make myself do this first thing.

Reading Willpower is my focus goal for this week.  Since reading is one of the things I do instead of meditating, this one should be a slam dunk.  And after weeks of dismal focus results, I am in desperate need of a win.

Done for the Past Two Weeks: The Heart of, er, Family

Another week, and in this case two, done.  Another year gone. 

If I were trying to cut a wide swath through life, I might be worried at my lack of "progress."  But since I believe more in being awake for the journey than in racing to its endpoint, I am learning to be content with my small moments.

Here are some recent achievements, as I closed out 2011:

Done for the Past Two Weeks:  Dec. 19, 2011-Jan. 1, 2012

1. Finished Christmas shopping
2. Finished Christmas decorating, minimalist style 
3. Packed for taking Christmas on the road
4. Got our dog settled in his vacation digs
5. Traveled to New Orleans--surviving a hectic departure, which included delaying a plane full of people while my husband ran for the gate
6. Spent time with my sister and her family
7. Celebrated Christmas with my mom, my husband and my two sons 
8. Took my sister and her family out to dinner
9. Watched four basketball games with various family members
10. Held a Polar Express party with my grandson 
11. Celebrated New Year's Eve with my daughter, her husband and two children, my husband, and one of my sons
12. Reunited with our dog after a week away
13. Took my dog to the dog park with my husband, and on two long walks  
14. Watched Kung Fu Panda II, with my son and husband
15. Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Traitor to Memory aloud with my husband--only a couple of hundred pages left
16. Went to dinner with my husband
17. Unpacked
18. Biked once, walked five times
19. Read The Dante Club, by Matthew Pearl;  My Life as a Furry Red Monster: What Being Elmo Has Taught Me About Life, Love, and Laughing Out Loud, by Kevin Clash
20. Continued to work my two part-time jobs
21. Published 1 blog post
22. Continued work on current clients' projects
23. Spent 6 hours working on recall campaign
24. Attended 2 yoga classes
25. Did laundry 
26. Meditated 6 times
27. Began moving our bedroom, exchanging rooms with my son
28. Shopped for new bed
29. Communicated with my mom's investment advisor; used trading authority to make needed adjustments
30. Looked into reverse mortgage for my mom
31. Confirmed my mom's dental insurance coverage
32. Began sorting books, in preparation for offloading a couple of hundred no-longer-needed volumes

As for many people in this most family-oriented of seasons, my time for the last two weeks was focused on family.  The efforts I made, and the experiences we shared were the most important things that were done during the past two weeks.  Our holiday wasn't perfect, but no lives were ruined in its making.  I count myself blessed to have spent these days surrounded by people I love, who love me and each other.  As always for me, the challenge is to come off such intense absorption in family to make room for my separate existence.  I am currently reading May Sarton's A House by the Sea, one of her journaled odes to solitude, which may help in retrieving my inner life.  But then May Sarton didn't share her home with three large male humans in various (and fluctuating) stages of maturity. . .

My focus goal for this period was to make time to exercise at least three times, and to meditate daily.  To be clear, that goal was meant to cover the first of the last two weeks.  Since I didn't get around to blogging last week, by extension the goal targets should be doubled.  

I did manage to get some exercise in, and in the process to baptize my new running shoes.  With the New Year, it is time to kick it up a notch, and to resume, gently, a more strenuous training regimen.  My tri training partner opened 2012 with a lovely e-card, and a separate email detailing all the races she wants to do this year--including one I haven't yet warmed to, a muddy 5K obstacle course slog called the Dirty Girl!  But my injuries are mostly healed, and my excuses used up.  So it's back to the track, and the pool, and the bike trainer this week.  My focus goal?  One session each, running (sort of), biking and swimming. 

As for my meditation goal, well, I did take lots and lots of college math so I know that daily meditating for two weeks would have resulted in a few more than 5 sessions.  The first week, however, was the crucial one, with all its built-in challenges and demands.  I meditated four times that week (twice while squished into an airplane seat that was a tight fit even for my diminutive self), but only two times since returning home the middle of last week.  

My New Year's resolution is still in draft stage (stay tuned), but is going to require regular meditating. 

Done for the Week: Not So Pretty, But Progress Nonetheless

Another week.  Another dollar sum insufficient to meet all obligations.

A recent Census Bureau report alerted us to our teetering state on the brink of middle class removal, despite our several full- and part-time jobs.  On its heels came the $15,000+ bills which have begun to roll in for my son's not-quite-24-hour hospital stay ten days ago.  Luckily, we are long past any enchantment with a materialist middle class lifestyle.  But it would be nice to be able to pay our bills.

In between bouts of worrying about money, and worrying about my mom and my children and my end-of-the-semester-overwhelmed spouse, I managed to get these things done:

Done for the Week:  Dec. 5-Dec. 11, 2011

1. Biked twice--still healing before resuming running
2. Read House Rules, by Jodi Picoult
3. Continued to work my two part-time jobs
4. Published 3 blog posts
5. Continued work on current clients' projects
6. Spent 14+ hours working on recall campaign
7. Arranged, endured and paid for two sessions of piano repair and tuning
8. Played my now-tolerable piano every day
9. Attended 1 yoga class
10. Continued to support my daughter's growing family
11. Participated in church service organized by my social justice committee
12. Went to my tap class
13. Watched one episode of Eureka with my son
14. Watched one episode of Boss with my husband
15. Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Traitor to Memory aloud with my husband--we're midway now in this 700+ pages tome
16. Made Sunday soup
17. Went to dinner with my husband
18. Did laundry 
19. Finished draft of novel chapter
20. Arranged dog care for Christmas trip
21. Began Christmas shopping
22. Arranged birthday lunch with my sister
23. Began my sister's birthday jewelry gift
24. Bought 2012 planning and purse calendars

The most important thing I did last week was to spend parts of four days working on the campaign to recall the governor of my state.  In terms of potential impact, this project is clearly the biggest thing I am currently engaged in.  And doing my small part helps me to keep at bay the shredded-social-fabric blues.  Five more weeks to go in this phase of the operation.  The numbers are looking good, but it's way too early to relax.  So this undertaking will continue to claim whatever chunks of my time I can spare--and some I probably can't--into mid-January.

Last week's focus goal--back for the second week by "popular" demand--was "to resume work on my novel."  More specifically, and accountably, I  vowed (yeeks!) "to make better use of what calm spaces there are, to more proactively protect my time, and to complete at least a chapter of my novel."  So how did I do?

First of all, what "calm spaces?"  Secondly, with the recall campaign hungry for any semi-competent and reliable bodies they can conscript, and a four-year-old grandson who can now call me on the phone to wheedle time with Nana, I have to confess I pretty much flunked "proactively protect[ing] my time."  Oh well.

But the good news is that I did manage to crank out a new chapter of my novel.  Okay, truth be told, I did so by forcing myself out to sit at Starbuck's last night just so I wouldn't have to admit defeat in this week's accounting.  But that in itself was an accomplishment, on a cold and dark December evening.  And after a somewhat scrappy week of flaring tempers, I am grateful to my husband for accompanying me and keeping me honest.

For the coming week, I will focus only on continuing this fledgling momentum.  One more chapter.  Forget calm spaces.  Forget "proactivity" of any sort.

Done for the Week: Shit Happens, Once Again

Another short week.  And a huge bite out of the middle of it.  (See item #6 on the list below.)

I'm not sure I have more than my share of mini-crises, though I have been told that my life reads like a bad soap opera at times.  And here we are at the beginning of December, and my family is on its second baffling medical mystery and third fairly significant trauma since October.

The challenge for me is to respond each time with love and courage and flexibility--and not to completely abandon my life plan in the process. 

How am I doing?  Not great.  But not awful.

Done for the Week:  Nov. 28-Dec. 4, 2011

1. Biked twice--still recovering from injury
2. Read No Signposts in the Sea, by Vita Sackville-West
3. Continued to work my two part-time jobs
4. Published 2 blog posts
5. Continued work on current clients' projects
6. Spent 24+ hours in a clinic, a hospital emergency room, and the hospital with my son, ruling out Guillain-Barré syndrome
7. Spent a day catching up on lost sleep and recovering from stress
8. Meditated three times
9. Attended 1 yoga class
10. Went to my tap class
11. Watched one episode of Eureka with my son
12. Watched one episode of Boss with my husband
13. Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Traitor to Memory aloud with my husband
14. Made Sunday soup
15. Saw my doctor for injury evaluation
16. Went to dinner with my husband
17. Did laundry 
18. Orchestrated hanging of our outdoor Christmas lights
19. Read draft of my husband's journal article
20. Took my grandson on his day-long birthday train adventure 
21. Printed out a copy of the Unschedule

A great deal of my energy last week was spent "rising to the occasion" of my son's frightening physical symptoms, which came on suddenly midweek.  Doing what needed to be done to shepherd him through the medical system and support him in enduring the necessary workups and tests and procedures, including approximately thirty attempted blood draws in his dehydrated state, was the most important thing I got done.  At this point, we don't really have an answer as to what caused his progressive numbness, or why it began to abate after 48 hours.  But the scariest things have been ruled out.  And he is back at school, though the ordeal has put him behind at the end of the semester.  We will continue to follow up with doctors, and hope to put the experience behind us.  And I have yet another chance to learn how to move forward from the periodic derailments that continue to visit my life.

Last week's focus goal was "to resume work on my novel."  Ahem.

It was once suggested to me, rather unkindly I thought, that the drama in my life, both good and bad, served the purpose of protecting me from the risk of failing (or succeeding?) at my most important work.  Never mind that the person making this suggestion didn't know me well; mistook for my "most important work" the work she thought I should be engaged in; and was most ultimately offensive in focusing on the adoption of my son as the great interruption she saw it for. 

I think it bears examining the pattern even a stranger, albeit a rather perceptive one, could observe in my bumpy history.  For whatever reason (Could it be the six kids my husband and I share?  my large, close extended family?  the dark intensity of my Irish-Catholic roots?  my embrace of a slightly offbeat lifestyle, grounded in the '60s? bad karma? psychological instability?), I seem to have a penchant for "coming a cropper," as they say, and for being blown off course in the wake of personal and family disasters. 

Perhaps I need to start seeing this stuff as, in Thomas Moore's words, "nourishing to the soul."  And perhaps I need to draw on all this unsolicited nourishment and develop a routine for righting myself in the aftermath.

So once again, I need to get back on the horse, and focus on resuming work on my novel.  I don't want to believe that I choose or allow the frequent big-deal interruptions to "my work," but I do admit that they have functioned, at times, to let me off a hook or two.  And I vow to get better at resuming my work, and my focus on it, in the periods of calm between the storms.  This week, I will try to make better use of what calm spaces there are, to more proactively protect my time, and to complete at least a chapter of my novel.

Done for the Week: Resisting Hibernation

It's back!  That time of year when I struggle to get out of pajamas, and out of the house.

It's dark well before dinner, and chilly temperatures have us encased in increasingly heavy clothing when we must venture out. 

Add to that the accumulated fatigue of the last year's onslaught of crises, from the personal to the political, and my inner child is threatening a strike.

I am still managing to put one foot in front of the other, if slowly, and to be semi-productive.  Here's what got done last week:

Done for the Week:  Nov. 14-20, 2011

1. Ran once, biked twice
2. Read All Passion Spent, by Vita Sackville-West
3. Continued to work my two part-time jobs
4. Published 2 blog posts
5. Continued significant work on current clients' projects
6. Welcomed my new tiny granddaughter home, after 5 weeks in the hospital!
7. Participated in Occupy Milwaukee event marking national day of economic emergency
8. Participated in Recall Walker Kick-off Rally
9. Began collecting signatures on recall petition
10. Volunteered to staff Recall office
11. Attended my organization's annual public meeting
12. Watched two episodes of Boss with my husband
13. Did laundry
14. Cleaned out entryway closet
15. Cleaned refrigerator
16. Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Traitor to Memory aloud with my husband
17. Went to Happy Hour with my husband
18. Planned trip to spend Christmas with my mother
19. Booked plane reservations
20. Held family meeting to plan Thanksgiving dinner
21. Cooked Mexican Chicken Lime Soup

Two really important things happened this past week, only one of which I can list as a personal accomplishment.  The first is that my new granddaughter finally came home, after five weeks in the hospital's neonatal intensive care unit.  She and her family are doing well, for which I am thrilled.  My son-in-law is on paternity leave through this coming week, so my own support duties are minimal for the time being.  When my daughter goes back to work, after the first of the year, I get to start remembering how to care for an infant and a preschooler simultaneously.  (I'm taking my vitamins.)

Last week's other important thing was that I began to collect signatures on the petitions to recall our governor and lieutenant governor.  After ten destructive months in office, many of us are committed to putting an end to their consistently undemocratic campaign to radically undermine what's left of the safety net for our most vulnerable citizens.  I expect to work hard while our 60-day countdown clock ticks.  Wisconsin--Forward!

Meanwhile, I will continue to be engaged in trying to live my own life.  And I will need energy and stamina.  Apropos of this concern, last week's focus goal was "to work out at least three days."   I did manage to bike twice and run once, but one workout session combined biking and running--so actually I only worked out two days.  Our recent time change means that most available workout time is after dark, when my strong hibernation impulse kicks in big time.  All I really want to do after dinner is read, relax with my family, and go to bed early.  I don't even have basketball to keep me awake this season.  But I intend to continue the effort to get to the gym--my focus goal for the coming week.

It helps that I am surrounded by challenged fellow-exercisers, including my husband, my triathlon training partner, and both of my sons.  I need to take advantage of the guilt I feel when I let them down, as they often don't exercise if I don't.  I plan to accept more of their invitations.  I will also try to walk my dog on days when I don't work out, and to exercise earlier in the day when possible.  

It will be easier to work in working out if I can be in a bit more control of my time (more feasible since my granddaughter is home), and complete regular tasks, like blogging, before noon.  

Whew!  I just made it.

Done for the Week: Another of Life's Little Detours

I'm still up to my neck in four-year-olds this week.  That is to say, I've been spending the better part of my waking hours with one very talkative, very energetic, and very dear little boy, and trying at the same time to be as much help as possible to his mother--my daughter.  Her new baby turns two weeks old tomorrow, although by rights she shouldn't really be born for another seven weeks. 

My brilliant advice to my daughter, which I'm trying to remember to follow myself, is to take this challenging period one day at a time.  It seems that's the best I can come up with.  Really.  In the meantime, here's what I got done, somehow, last week:

Done for the Week:  Oct. 17-Oct. 23, 2011

1. Continued 5K training with my youngest son, in preparation for his first race--Finished Week 8 of 9 Week Couch-Potato-to-5K program
2. Took my son shopping for new running shoes, and running gear
3. Cheered my son after he came in 5th in his age group in the Fall Classic 5K, and 24th overall! 
4. Won my age group , beating last year's time by 3+ minutes
5. Ran three times (including race), swam once
6. Read Where the God of Love Hangs Out, by Amy Bloom, Once Upon a Time There Was You, by Elizabeth Berg, and Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk:  A Modest Bestiary, by David Sedaris
7. Continued to work my two part-time jobs 
8. Published 2 blog posts
9. Continued significant work on current clients' projects
10. Continued to give nearly full-time support to my daughter and her family as they coped with early arrival of their baby, and my daughter's continuing health problems
11. Helped my son purchase required laptop for school
12. Celebrated my son's first day in technical college automotive program
13. Went out for happy hour with my husband
14. Saw The Ides of March with my husband 
15. Watched first episode of Boss with my husband
16. Did laundry
17. Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Traitor to Memory aloud with my husband
18. Paid our household bills
19. Vacuumed several dogs worth of hair off our living room carpet
20. Entertained my out-of-town stepdaughter and her two sons, and arranged a family tennis outing
21. Took my grandson to his swimming lesson

Once again, the "most important thing" I accomplished last week was continuing to help my daughter and her family deal with the demands and difficulties of her medically complicated postpartum period and the needs of her preemie infant in a Level III NICU miles away.  We continue to refine the schedule and strategies for dealing with this temporary situation, and to marvel at the resilience of this tiny being as she matures and sheds one tube after another on her way to coming home in a couple of weeks.

I am working hard, but not minding the commitment or its requirements.  For whatever reason--probably the rewards of having had my own surprise children, and the lessons of relinquishing control when it was denied me--it is easy for me to take the long view.  This time will be here and gone before we know it, along with its special opportunities.  I am grateful to have the freedom and flexibility to be able to support my daughter in this way.

Last week's focus goal, in the midst of this adventure, was to "fit in three runs, in preparation for Sunday's race."   I managed to run twice before the race, and to swim once while taking my grandson for his swimming lesson.  Not ideal preparation for our race, given that I had only trained once the previous week, but the best I could do.  And good training in acceptance.

Next week's focus goal is to resume meditating.  Period.

Done for the Week: A New Leaf on the Family Tree

My family contains one more person this week than it did at the beginning of last week--the first girl born into our extended family in many years.  I am ecstatic.  I am worn out.

The little one who was in such a rush to get here has left some serious turbulence in her wake.  In the midst of her joyous and disruptive arrival, here's what I got done:

Done for the Week:  Oct. 10-Oct. 16, 2011

1. Continued 5K training with my youngest son, in preparation for his first race--Finished Week 7 of 9 Week Couch-Potato-to-5K program
2. Ran once
3. Read Murder Your Darlings, by J. J. Murphy
4. Continued to work my two part-time jobs 
5. Published 1 blog post
6. Continued significant work on current clients' projects
7. Attended second week of four week Run Better class with triathlon coach Lauren Jensen
8. Became a grandmother for the second time, as my daughter's premature daughter entered the world
9. Became a live-in Nana to my four-year-old grandson
10. Gave nearly full-time support to my daughter and her family as they coped with early arrival of their baby, and my daughter's continuing health problems
11. Dealt with my daughter's acutely ill dog
12. Helped prepare my son to begin technical college later this week
13. Went out for happy hour and a movie with my husband
14. Did laundry
15. Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Traitor to Memory aloud with my husband

Last week's "most important thing," hands down, was supporting my daughter and her family through the premature arrival of her new daughter, and her own continuing health problems.   The baby was born early Tuesday morning, at 31 weeks, and though doing remarkably well, is expected to be in the hospital for at least another 3 weeks.  My daughter is dealing with two separate complications and a preexisting chronic illness, compounded by exhaustion and the aftereffects of necessary obstetrical interventions.  Her four-year-old is struggling with the temporary chaos and emotional distress that has beset his happy, stable home life.  We are all attempting to deal with the strategic demands of tightly scheduled twice daily visits to the NICU; my grandson's part-time preschool schedule; my daughter's medical appointments, including yet another specialist to be consulted for a new condition; hot and cold running relatives--the various members of our complicated extended family, all of whom want to help, to visit, to be part of things, and mostly on their own terms; and my daughter's serious need for rest.  


I have adopted the attitude I found helpful during my father's extended illness and eventual death a few years ago--that our circumstances currently are more like M.A.S.H. than like Happy Days, and we need to lighten our loads and keep bailing.  Low expectations, clear priorities, and a healthy sense of humor will get us through.  In the meantime, I cling to my nightly glass of red wine.  For the heart benefits, of course.



My focus goal last week was to "make some time for resting and taking care of myself and my home, and staying loose about how that will get done."  I did manage to get to my running class; to meditate in the middle of the night while my daughter was in preterm labor and I couldn't sleep; to squeeze in a couple of latte breaks; to vacuum several large dogs worth of yellow lab colored hair off my living room carpet; to read an inconsequential mystery novel; and to spend a pleasant evening with my husband.  If I had to miss three blog posts, abandon my novel, skip workouts, miss yoga and tap class and sleep and showers, I did the best I could.  

This week, we can probably better anticipate what lies ahead.  We are starting to problem solve, and to martial additional resources.  My new focus goal is to fit in three runs, in preparation for Sunday's race.  The rest will have to take care of itself. 

Done for the Week: Against the Wind

I turned another year older last week.

Time rushes by, and fans me, my good intentions, and my big dreams as it passes.

Here's what I got done against the wind:

Done for the Week:  Oct. 3-Oct. 9, 2011

1. Continued 5K training with my youngest son, in preparation for his first race--Finished Week 6 of 9 Week program
2. Ran once; swam once; biked once
3. Read Away, by Amy Bloom
4. Continued to work my two part-time jobs 
5. Published 2 blog posts
6. Continued significant work on current clients' projects
7. Held third tutoring session with clients
8. Registered for upcoming Fall Classic 5K with my son
9. Attended first week of four week Run Better class with triathlon coach Lauren Jensen
10. Had informal consultation with guest orthopedic physical therapist concerning persistent knee injury
11. Participated in 12 mi. Breast Cancer Awareness Ride
12. Continued to give substantial support to my pregnant daughter and her family
13. Found my lost cell phone
    
14. Did laundry
15. Fixed my husband's bird bath with my grandson's help
16. Began clean-up of our ravine with both sons and my grandson
17. Celebrated my birthday
18. Held joint family party for my birthday and my daughter's birthday
19. Took my dog to the dog park twice, once with my husband, once with my son and grandson
20. Watched episodes of Eureka with my oldest son
21. Took our Isuzu Oasis in to investigate deafening exhaust system noise
22. Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Traitor to Memory aloud with my husband
23. Continued raising money for New Orleans Area Habitat for Humanity on my Facebook Birthday Wish--exceeded my goal of $250
24. Attended Communications Team meeting
    

The "most important thing" I did last week, again, was supporting my daughter and her family in her high-risk pregnancy.  A seemingly endless round of medical appointments, a last stressful week before leaving her job on an early, extended maternity leave, and increasing fatigue left my daughter in need of many more hours of relief child care than we had scheduled for.  This week promises to be a bit easier for all of us, with fewer appointments and the absence of work pressures.  But as her health is expected to worsen as the pregnancy progresses, we are just trying to take it one day at a time.  Her needs will remain a priority for the weeks to come.



Last week's focus goal, for the third week running, was to "meditate at least three times."  My grade?   F!  Not even F+.  I ended each day in a near stupor, with just enough energy to close my eyes before losing consciousness.  Not enough oomph left for sitting and breathing, or the effort of thinking of nothing.  

I have several hypotheses about my current state of exhaustion.  The most likely explanation has to do with an increasingly crazy and precipitously changing schedule, which has left no time for self-care, including meditation.  I am running on an energy deficit, clearly not a situation that can go on beyond the short term. 

So next week's focus goal?  Make some time for resting and taking care of myself and my home, and staying loose about how that will get done; meditating if I can manage it, sleeping as needed, a hot cup of tea and a good book in my swing in the yard. . . .