Hot and Bothered

Yesterday was the first day of spring.  Where I live, the temperature was a record-breaking 83 degrees F.  And today, the record set yesterday was broken when temperatures reached 84.  This comes at the tail of a record-setting string of March days above 70 degrees.

While the unseasonably warm weather has been mostly enjoyable, it is also worrisome.  And I gather, from what I've been reading in the brain science literature, that I am unlikely to be the only one who is "going there" in these unusual circumstances--our brains being wired, as they are, to respond anxiously and to look for the dark side.

So what am I worried about?

Well, of course, there's the whole global warming thing.  As I shed my accustomed layers, I can't help but think of Al Gore's friend, the boiling frog.  Having taking my share of science classes, I get that we shouldn't freak out about a strong trend that may prove to be insignificant in the long run.  But still . . .

And then there is my immediate concern with the flora in my region, my neighborhood, and my yard.  On NPR's All Things Considered last week, in a segment entitled "What's the Impact of Early Blooms?," Melissa Block interviewed Jake Weltzin, an ecologist and the executive director of the USA National Phenology Network.  Phenology, Block informed her listeners, is the the study of the effect of climate on the life cycles of plants and animals.  Phenologist Weltzin told us that

We are seeing strong trends almost wherever we look.  In the last decade, we're actually now starting to be able to say OK, well, we see patterns of plants and animals coming earlier.  And we have better and better climatological records, temperature records, and we can start to link those together.  And there's a paper coming out it seems every week now that's saying OK, here's a trend in bees coming out 10 days earlier over the last 130 years, and we can attribute that to warming temperatures.

When Ms. Block asked "If a plant or tree does bloom or leaf out early, does that affect its seasonal cycle for the rest of the year?," Dr. Weltzin answered, it seems to me ominously, that

We don't really know for a lot of plants. And we're just starting to get that information organized. Some plants do, indeed, have a deterministic life cycle, which means that if they come up early they will shut down early. Others are indeterministic and they'll grow and grow and grow all season long.

He was clearer about bugs, asserting that early bug growth is correlated with early plant growth, and that scientists are concerned about more problems from "bad bugs" this summer--like the mosquitoes who carry West Nile virus, for example.

On Monday, I opened the local paper to learn that "Wisconsin maple producers endure worst year in memory," answering Friday's question from a Yahoo contributor "Will an Early Spring Ruin Your Pancakes?  Yes, apparently.


On top of global warming, plants and bugs running amok, and the end of breakfast as we knew it, there is my fear of a blisteringly hot summer.  Again, I am not alone, as readers and callers, columnists and bloggers and weather analysts have expressed this apprehension.  And again, "scientific" study yields little in the way of clarity or prediction.  All seem agreed.  This summer may be hotter than usual.  And it may not be.

So to review.  We are probably experiencing global warming, but we kind of knew that, right?  The plants and trees are all screwed up, and we're in for a swarm of bugs, which were already in evidence in my grandchildren's backyard yesterday--several weeks ahead of schedule.  And it may or may not be extra hot this summer.

All of this should probably not stop me from enjoying the blooming violets and primroses encountered on my walk today; or the reprieve from wearing the heavy winter coat I'm entirely sick of after six months; or the opportunity to sit in the grass with my summer clad grandkids this afternoon.  Indeed, neuropsychologist Rick Hanson, author of Buddha's Brain:  The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom advises us to soak up such positive sensations and experiences to counteract that negativity that is our brain's natural state. 

So I guess I'll just have to suck it up and deal with the balminess, the sunshine, and the gift of this crazy unseasonal season.  And anyway, it's supposed to rain tomorrow.

Done for the Week: Another of Life's Little Detours

I'm still up to my neck in four-year-olds this week.  That is to say, I've been spending the better part of my waking hours with one very talkative, very energetic, and very dear little boy, and trying at the same time to be as much help as possible to his mother--my daughter.  Her new baby turns two weeks old tomorrow, although by rights she shouldn't really be born for another seven weeks. 

My brilliant advice to my daughter, which I'm trying to remember to follow myself, is to take this challenging period one day at a time.  It seems that's the best I can come up with.  Really.  In the meantime, here's what I got done, somehow, last week:

Done for the Week:  Oct. 17-Oct. 23, 2011

1. Continued 5K training with my youngest son, in preparation for his first race--Finished Week 8 of 9 Week Couch-Potato-to-5K program
2. Took my son shopping for new running shoes, and running gear
3. Cheered my son after he came in 5th in his age group in the Fall Classic 5K, and 24th overall! 
4. Won my age group , beating last year's time by 3+ minutes
5. Ran three times (including race), swam once
6. Read Where the God of Love Hangs Out, by Amy Bloom, Once Upon a Time There Was You, by Elizabeth Berg, and Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk:  A Modest Bestiary, by David Sedaris
7. Continued to work my two part-time jobs 
8. Published 2 blog posts
9. Continued significant work on current clients' projects
10. Continued to give nearly full-time support to my daughter and her family as they coped with early arrival of their baby, and my daughter's continuing health problems
11. Helped my son purchase required laptop for school
12. Celebrated my son's first day in technical college automotive program
13. Went out for happy hour with my husband
14. Saw The Ides of March with my husband 
15. Watched first episode of Boss with my husband
16. Did laundry
17. Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Traitor to Memory aloud with my husband
18. Paid our household bills
19. Vacuumed several dogs worth of hair off our living room carpet
20. Entertained my out-of-town stepdaughter and her two sons, and arranged a family tennis outing
21. Took my grandson to his swimming lesson

Once again, the "most important thing" I accomplished last week was continuing to help my daughter and her family deal with the demands and difficulties of her medically complicated postpartum period and the needs of her preemie infant in a Level III NICU miles away.  We continue to refine the schedule and strategies for dealing with this temporary situation, and to marvel at the resilience of this tiny being as she matures and sheds one tube after another on her way to coming home in a couple of weeks.

I am working hard, but not minding the commitment or its requirements.  For whatever reason--probably the rewards of having had my own surprise children, and the lessons of relinquishing control when it was denied me--it is easy for me to take the long view.  This time will be here and gone before we know it, along with its special opportunities.  I am grateful to have the freedom and flexibility to be able to support my daughter in this way.

Last week's focus goal, in the midst of this adventure, was to "fit in three runs, in preparation for Sunday's race."   I managed to run twice before the race, and to swim once while taking my grandson for his swimming lesson.  Not ideal preparation for our race, given that I had only trained once the previous week, but the best I could do.  And good training in acceptance.

Next week's focus goal is to resume meditating.  Period.

Done for the Week: A New Leaf on the Family Tree

My family contains one more person this week than it did at the beginning of last week--the first girl born into our extended family in many years.  I am ecstatic.  I am worn out.

The little one who was in such a rush to get here has left some serious turbulence in her wake.  In the midst of her joyous and disruptive arrival, here's what I got done:

Done for the Week:  Oct. 10-Oct. 16, 2011

1. Continued 5K training with my youngest son, in preparation for his first race--Finished Week 7 of 9 Week Couch-Potato-to-5K program
2. Ran once
3. Read Murder Your Darlings, by J. J. Murphy
4. Continued to work my two part-time jobs 
5. Published 1 blog post
6. Continued significant work on current clients' projects
7. Attended second week of four week Run Better class with triathlon coach Lauren Jensen
8. Became a grandmother for the second time, as my daughter's premature daughter entered the world
9. Became a live-in Nana to my four-year-old grandson
10. Gave nearly full-time support to my daughter and her family as they coped with early arrival of their baby, and my daughter's continuing health problems
11. Dealt with my daughter's acutely ill dog
12. Helped prepare my son to begin technical college later this week
13. Went out for happy hour and a movie with my husband
14. Did laundry
15. Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Traitor to Memory aloud with my husband

Last week's "most important thing," hands down, was supporting my daughter and her family through the premature arrival of her new daughter, and her own continuing health problems.   The baby was born early Tuesday morning, at 31 weeks, and though doing remarkably well, is expected to be in the hospital for at least another 3 weeks.  My daughter is dealing with two separate complications and a preexisting chronic illness, compounded by exhaustion and the aftereffects of necessary obstetrical interventions.  Her four-year-old is struggling with the temporary chaos and emotional distress that has beset his happy, stable home life.  We are all attempting to deal with the strategic demands of tightly scheduled twice daily visits to the NICU; my grandson's part-time preschool schedule; my daughter's medical appointments, including yet another specialist to be consulted for a new condition; hot and cold running relatives--the various members of our complicated extended family, all of whom want to help, to visit, to be part of things, and mostly on their own terms; and my daughter's serious need for rest.  


I have adopted the attitude I found helpful during my father's extended illness and eventual death a few years ago--that our circumstances currently are more like M.A.S.H. than like Happy Days, and we need to lighten our loads and keep bailing.  Low expectations, clear priorities, and a healthy sense of humor will get us through.  In the meantime, I cling to my nightly glass of red wine.  For the heart benefits, of course.



My focus goal last week was to "make some time for resting and taking care of myself and my home, and staying loose about how that will get done."  I did manage to get to my running class; to meditate in the middle of the night while my daughter was in preterm labor and I couldn't sleep; to squeeze in a couple of latte breaks; to vacuum several large dogs worth of yellow lab colored hair off my living room carpet; to read an inconsequential mystery novel; and to spend a pleasant evening with my husband.  If I had to miss three blog posts, abandon my novel, skip workouts, miss yoga and tap class and sleep and showers, I did the best I could.  

This week, we can probably better anticipate what lies ahead.  We are starting to problem solve, and to martial additional resources.  My new focus goal is to fit in three runs, in preparation for Sunday's race.  The rest will have to take care of itself. 

Done for the Week: Against the Wind

I turned another year older last week.

Time rushes by, and fans me, my good intentions, and my big dreams as it passes.

Here's what I got done against the wind:

Done for the Week:  Oct. 3-Oct. 9, 2011

1. Continued 5K training with my youngest son, in preparation for his first race--Finished Week 6 of 9 Week program
2. Ran once; swam once; biked once
3. Read Away, by Amy Bloom
4. Continued to work my two part-time jobs 
5. Published 2 blog posts
6. Continued significant work on current clients' projects
7. Held third tutoring session with clients
8. Registered for upcoming Fall Classic 5K with my son
9. Attended first week of four week Run Better class with triathlon coach Lauren Jensen
10. Had informal consultation with guest orthopedic physical therapist concerning persistent knee injury
11. Participated in 12 mi. Breast Cancer Awareness Ride
12. Continued to give substantial support to my pregnant daughter and her family
13. Found my lost cell phone
    
14. Did laundry
15. Fixed my husband's bird bath with my grandson's help
16. Began clean-up of our ravine with both sons and my grandson
17. Celebrated my birthday
18. Held joint family party for my birthday and my daughter's birthday
19. Took my dog to the dog park twice, once with my husband, once with my son and grandson
20. Watched episodes of Eureka with my oldest son
21. Took our Isuzu Oasis in to investigate deafening exhaust system noise
22. Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Traitor to Memory aloud with my husband
23. Continued raising money for New Orleans Area Habitat for Humanity on my Facebook Birthday Wish--exceeded my goal of $250
24. Attended Communications Team meeting
    

The "most important thing" I did last week, again, was supporting my daughter and her family in her high-risk pregnancy.  A seemingly endless round of medical appointments, a last stressful week before leaving her job on an early, extended maternity leave, and increasing fatigue left my daughter in need of many more hours of relief child care than we had scheduled for.  This week promises to be a bit easier for all of us, with fewer appointments and the absence of work pressures.  But as her health is expected to worsen as the pregnancy progresses, we are just trying to take it one day at a time.  Her needs will remain a priority for the weeks to come.



Last week's focus goal, for the third week running, was to "meditate at least three times."  My grade?   F!  Not even F+.  I ended each day in a near stupor, with just enough energy to close my eyes before losing consciousness.  Not enough oomph left for sitting and breathing, or the effort of thinking of nothing.  

I have several hypotheses about my current state of exhaustion.  The most likely explanation has to do with an increasingly crazy and precipitously changing schedule, which has left no time for self-care, including meditation.  I am running on an energy deficit, clearly not a situation that can go on beyond the short term. 

So next week's focus goal?  Make some time for resting and taking care of myself and my home, and staying loose about how that will get done; meditating if I can manage it, sleeping as needed, a hot cup of tea and a good book in my swing in the yard. . . .

When Work Attacks

I just returned from a meeting--one of many already, with more planned--in response to our state's budget crisis.  I use this term to describe the state of turmoil caused by our new governor's budget "repair" bill and proposed biennial budget, not to any real state of financial emergency, despite claims to the contrary. 

In any case, much of our meeting was taken up with discussion of a very real joblessness emergency in large portions of our community. 

So I am somewhat chagrined by this post I began earlier today, on the subject of bad jobs and the people who are tortured by them.  In our current climate, many feel that anyone who is employed, more or less gainfully, should be happy just to have a job.  And I agree.

But that doesn't change the fact that I spent the morning and early afternoon today hearing tales of extreme job distress from two people I am close to.

It is probably passe to speak of the "alienation" of a worker from his or her work, at least in classical Marxist terms.  But, as Steven Greenhouse made plain in The Big Squeeze:  Tough Times for the American Worker, workers across the board in this country are losing ground.  The great armies of the unemployed and underemployed are ever present reminders of the dispensability of those who still have jobs.   Against that backdrop, unions are busted, workers become permanent "temporary" workers, work conditions can feature illegal lock-ins--and far too many of us just plain hate the jobs we have. 

I have written before about Jonathan Haidt's (The Happiness Hypothesis) elephant and rider metaphor, around which Chip Heath and Dan Heath organized their fascinating book Switch:  How to Change Things When Change is Hard.   Not being an employer, I considered the Heath brothers' ideas more in the context of personal change.  But listening to my friends today, I thought of the damage that is done to the elephantine heart and will of workers who are roughly treated by oblivious rider bosses and institutions.

Disrespect, arbitrary displays of power, undermining, underhandedness, and even deprivation of meaningful responsibility and initiative can all have devastating effects, though they might be preferred to the absence of employment and secure income altogether.  The worker who is subject to such conditions can lose the will to work.  In Haidt's schema, the mistreated elephant might sink to the ground, transformed into an immovable behemoth.  Or anger and frustration may turn to rage, in most cases stopping far short of the "going postal" variety, but nevertheless wreaking havoc on the individual's health and job security.

In such situations, procrastination may be a coping mechanism, born of torpor or of fury.  But it is unlikely to solve the problem.  For that, joining forces with others is probably necessary.

And the bumper sticker for this movement?

Just Say Later

So, I'm still experiencing this lag between me and the world.  The latest thing I missed--to my knowledge--was International Procrastination Day, which was apparently last Friday, March 26.

This morning, I came across a Daily Telegraph article which identifies David d'Equainville as its founder.  What caught my eye was d'Equainville's casting of  procrastination as "a political act."  And not just any political act, but "a crucial act of resistance" in an increasingly overwhelming and speeded up society.  This is right up my alley.

Author of "Manifesto for a Day Put Off," recently released in French and soon to be published in English, d'Equainville says

To procrastinate is to refuse to do what the context -- be it from bosses, administrative obligations or a culture of results -- asks us to do. We must absolutely take the time to think about the tasks we accept to execute, or we will lose all control over our lives.

So I'm not a laggard, I'm a time activist.  

d'Equainville (my new hero) advocates taking time, not just to escape the rat race, but to reflect on decisions and actions, about "the tasks we accept to execute." He gives the example of Shakespeare's Romeo, who could have benefitted from some thinking time.   

If Romeo had put his suicide off a bit on Juliet's tomb, the two lovebirds could have grown old together.

d'Equainville gives his blessing to a delayed celebration of the day he established, so I'm declaring today for my observance of International Procrastination Day.  For the next 24 hours, I will tackle no project before its time.

Tips for the Day From Hell: The Sequel

As I proceeded through my up-against-it day yesterday, I continued to think about what I might do to ease my pain.  The ideas came faster than I could jot them down.  


Can we spell r-a-c-i-n-g  m-i-n-d?


Here is the second batch of strategies, bringing us to a nice round 25.  Or it would have been, if I hadn't had another brainstorm.  So 26, then.


19.  Walk, and talk, and walk your talk adagio or andante--music-speak for "moderately slow," and at a "walking pace," respectively.  And throw in a little legato ("smoothly, connected"), if you can.  Banish those fast and jerky movements that possess our bodies in the stressed-out state.  Not only do they not help us to get things done any more quickly, but they can lead to spills and breakage and other mishaps, which will actually slow us down.  And they signal fight or flight to our over-working amygdalas.


20.  Leave a few minutes early for appointments and meetings--or make up your mind to be late with grace.  Driving too fast in a distracted state of mind is never a good thing.  Nor is fuming with impatience, or trying to multi-task while behind the wheel.  If you don't have enough time to get to all the places you need to be today on time, you will get there when you get there.  So get there alive, and with a smile on your face, and a respectful acknowledgement of any inconvenience your lateness may cause others.  Remember this moment when scheduling things in the future.


21.  Remind yourself of why you're doing all these things that have you racing around.  Ideally, all this stress is at least nominally in the service of stuff you believe in, and care deeply about.  Keeping your eyes on the prize may help get you through this crunch time.  But if you can't remember why you're doing something--or worse, if the items on your to-do-or-die-trying list don't reflect your values--just don't.


22.  Shower.  It may seem as if you don't have time, but it will make you feel so much better that it's worth the few minutes you will spend.  And not, as I caught myself doing recently, as if you're on your way to a fire, scrubbing fast and harshly, whipping that razor across your shin (ouch!), dashing shampoo into your eyes and swearing.  


23.  Dress for de-stress.  Dress completely--don't forget any essential elements of your outfit, like pants, for example.  Dress comfortably, but nicely.  Skip the skirt you can't sit down in, and the heels that make you mince and wince.  Likewise, the puce sweater that makes you look anemic.  Look like you want to feel--calm, and in control.  Yourself, but happier. 


24.  Lay off the junk--food, booze, cigarettes, caffeine and other tools of self-abuse.  The quick little hits of pleasure are not worth the price in added stress chemicals and their components in your body.  Trust me on this one.


25.  Look up.  There is always that great big sky above us, and whatever natural beauty the season supplies.  Even a gray November day holds it charms, if you remember to take it in.  Coming up for air in this way can alleviate the tunnel vision that takes over as we strain to accomplish the undo-able.


26.  Four words:  sleep, water, chocolate (a little) and veggies (a lot).  Nourish the tortured little animal you've become as you run around your squeaking wheel.  If you are going to complete the onerous task you've set before yourself, you will need your strength.  This is especially important if your stressful period is more of a marathon than a sprint.

18 Tips for Making it Through the Day From Hell

If we have neglected to employ Marshall Cook's organizing principles, and we are alive and living in the 21st century, chances are we will occasionally experience some days when we have way too much to do, and we feel it--in a bad way.  You know, that shoulders hunched, blood pressure raised, jaw and hands clenched, mind racing, head in a vice, impending disaster body state that makes you want to run for your life away from it but you can't because it's inside of you?  Or maybe it is you?  

I have had a short string of such days recently.  And although Gretchen Rubin, who wants us all to be happier, would have us "reframe" situations we dislike as ones we love, I can't quite manage that degree of mental or spiritual contortion.  I have, however, had a lot of opportunities to think about and try out ways to cope with that pressure cooker feeling.  The following list of tips is a work in progress.  (I started out with a list of ten suggestions, which grew to 18 as I typed.)

18 tips for surviving when you're too busy to turn around 

       1.  Do something you love to do, even though you don't have time for it.    

                                  

I learned this approach by watching my husband head out the door to play golf on a day too crammed with work to accommodate this time-consuming nonessential.  His practice is pretty evolved from years of overcommitment; I don't advise that we novices begin with such an advanced counterintuitive move.  But maybe a little time spent reading a novel, or calling a friend, doing needlework or whacking a tennis ball around can give you a feeling of having more time.

2.    Practice strategic "blowing off"--excise a task or meeting from your to-do list, and replace it with a more productive use of your time.

For example, this morning I am skipping a meeting, at which I would probably pick up a future task or two, to spend the time on the “crunchiest” of the days projects.

3.    Breathe.  Deeply, and often.

You may find, as I have, that you are prone to breath-holding when stressed.  Oxygen-deprivation will only make the situation worse.  Take a few deep breaths, hand on belly, unknot your diaphragm, and then keep the air flowing.

4.    Remember death--This too shall pass.

Sounds grim, perhaps, but I get comfort from the knowledge that none of the things I am so wrought up about matter so very much in the cosmic view.  The idea of my limited time on earth helps to keep things in perspective.

5.    Do what you're doing--Be here, where you are.  Don't get ahead of yourself.

Yes, the current overwhelming task will be followed by another , equally daunting.  And then there’s Murphy’s Law.  And traffic.  But mentally visiting these future landscapes exposes us to their anticipated stress, concurrent with the pressure we’re already feeling.  Don’t go there.

6.    Laugh at the situation--think of your day as a sitcom episode.  

How would Frasier handle a day like yours?  What would Niles say?  How crazy would it all look on TV?

7.    Get rid of nonessential tasks--but not all self-care.

Even though it’s Thursday, when you normally dust the living room furniture, embrace dustiness just for today.   And the monthly bills can probably wait until the busyness typhoon has passed.  But if, for example, you rely on meditation or exercise or journaling or a long soak in a bubble bath to keep you sane—or, like me, all of the above—don’t eliminate all of these from your day from hell.

  

8.    Improve the day’s ambience with treats.

I don’t know about you, but I can almost face the prospect of producing a complicated, last-minute set of meeting materials if I can count on having an extra foamy decaf latte at my side.  Though it is chic to scoff at such indulgences, Starbucks was made for these times.

9.    Ask for help.

When we’re up against it, we may have to remind ourselves that we don’t have to do it all alone.  Think creatively about what small or large parts of an overwhelming task, or set of tasks, might be manageable by someone else.  And then ask them.

10. Show kindness to someone.

Many of us have absorbed the view that we suffer from the “disease to please,” are co-dependent, and would benefit from paying more attention to our own needs.   But a small kindness shown to someone else can nurture a feeling of connection, and large-heartedness.  These are antidotes for the sense of isolation and smallness that typically accompany mega-stress.  Just don’t go overboard.  There is a difference between holding a door for someone and taking their children for the weekend. 

11.  Smile.

We’ve all seen this on every stress-busting list, but it’s there for a reason.  As Thich Nhat Hahn reminds us, "Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy."  Or, in this case, your relative serenity.

12. Turn down the volume.  Take refuge in silence, or at least quiet.

Turn off the radio in your car, the background music in your office.  If you can, find a quiet place to work without distraction.

13. Wall off—Do less email checking, phone-answering, talking, door-answering, etc.

There are so many conduits of stress and additional demands in our culture.  The image that comes to my mind is from the first Harry Potter book, when Hogwarts was trying to send a letter to Harry.  Eventually, letters were piling up under the mail slot, flying down the flue, and swirling overhead.  When you are already feeling overwhelmed, don’t expose yourself to more input.  Close that transom.

14. Diagnose--How did I get here?  How can I avoid such crunch times in the future?

Of course, now is probably not the time to launch a full-scale investigation into the roots of your present difficulties.  But make notes while the experience is fresh, for later analysis.  “Hope is the thing with feathers.”

15. Steer clear of other stress-fiends--they will only make you crazier.

Unfortunately, this means I need to avoid my husband whenever I'm stressed-out, since that is his nearly-permanent state.  When I'm at my wit's end, the man I love is almost always toxic, since stress pours from him like dirt from Peanuts' Pigpen.

16. As my yoga teacher would say, "ground down" into your body--catch yourself tensing and rushing, and slow down.

17. Get and give hugs.

Even my normally stressed-out husband can help with this.  And my dog is a genius of healing touch, with his silky fur and his talent for lying by my side while I work.

18. Take short breaks where you can

Let me know if you have additional suggestions.  For now, I'm off to the races.  While breathing.