A Gift from the Blogger Snow God

A snow day in mid-May?

Not really.  The weather here yesterday, while not exactly seasonal, was not wintry.  In fact, I dressed lightly for my late afternoon run by the lake, and even removed a layer as I went.

But Thursday was like a snow day because I was prevented by circumstances beyond my control from posting a blog. 

Blogger--the software that supports the creation of blogs for Blogspot, of which Put it to Bed is one, was "unavailable" through the day yesterday, and for half of today. 

I enjoyed the reprieve.

Musings of a Lame Duck Mom

A mother holds her children's hands for a little while. . . their hearts forever.

I was going to post this on Mother's Day, but my husband and children kept me too busy celebrating to finish it.  So here it is, in true procrastinator fashion, five days late.

I never intended to become so wrapped up in mothering.  If the truth be known, in fact, there was a time when I thought I didn't want children.  In the heady rush of my feminist awakening, I made big plans, and they did not include little people.

But what did my head know? 

My three children, when they did come, were all surprises.

And so was the mother they gave birth to.

Turns out, loving and nurturing and enjoying small persons whose care, and upkeep, and upbringing I have been entrusted with is probably my greatest gift.  In every sense of the word.

As I approach the end of the thirty-three plus uninterrupted years I have spent as a mom to minor children--my youngest turns eighteen next month--I find myself somewhat at sea. 

My nest is not yet empty.  Two of my children still live under my roof, and the other is ten blocks away.  I am not finished being a mother.  But I am not nearly so actively engaged in mothering as I was even a year ago.

There are some other things I have to contribute, and meaningful--if not lucrative--work that I am doing.  But I am not sure I will ever again be as good at anything, or that I will derive as much satisfaction, or have as much fun as I have had as a mother.

Then again, having backed into this particular phase of my life, perhaps there is something wonderful ahead that I haven't foreseen. . . .

Happy (belated) Mother's Day, to my mother, who taught me more than I acknowledged; to my daughter, who first made me a mother; and to all of us moms, accidental and otherwise!

Procrastinating 101: Dr. Ferrari's Impossible Dream

Wrapping up with Joseph Ferrari's Still Procrastinating?  The No-Regrets Guide to Getting it Done this morning--Dr. Ferrari's final chapter is entitled "Where Do You Go Next--and Can You Get There from Here?"

He begins in true academic fashion by listing areas requiring further research, including:

• neurophysiological changes in the biological processes of chronic procrastinators
• the meaning of time and procrastination in various countries and among different nationalities
• the impact of procrastination in culturally divergent settings
• how well cognitive-behavioral interventions work in comparison with other programs to address the needs of chronic procrastinators

 Following this, Dr. Ferrari moves on to his plea that we shift, in U.S. culture, from tolerating procrastination, or being amused by it, to focusing on preventing it.  

As a culture, as a society, we need to focus on getting things done.  We need to have new systems to promote people's meeting deadlines.  Incentives need to be created for folks to act.

As examples, he proposes a "plan to transform holiday shopping," which would provide financial rewards to early shoppers, instead of the current system, in which procrastination "pays off."  In the same vein, he suggests financial incentives for people who file their tax returns early.

Dr. Ferrari concludes the chapter, and his book, with this bit of cheerleading:

The problem of procrastination in our society will change only when we gather enough reliable and valid empirical facts through science, and when men and women take the topic seriously.  Societal support for procrastination must stop.  Lives are on the line.  You and I can start; together we can change our behavior from procrastination to prevention and productivity.  I look forward to the day when I can write a book that surveys the end of procrastination as we knew it.

Somehow, I don't imagine such a volume coming out in my lifetime.

Done for the Week: Whose Life Is This, Anyway?

I'm still having trouble showing up for my life with the conscientiousness that I have taught others to expect from me. 

I guess that's the problem, really.  Too much of my life is still ruled by what others want/need from me.  And the degree of resentment that I feel about this is sapping my will.  

Here's what I got done last week, whoever it was for:

Done for the Week:  May 2 - 8, 2011

1. Continued race training
2. Ran twice with my training partner 
3. Signed up for day-long triathlon camp 
4. Finished An Almost Perfect Moment, by Binnie Kirshenbaum
5. Attended Search Committee meeting
6. Attended campaign announcement for state senate recall election
7. Continued to work my two part-time jobs
8. Published 4 blog posts
9. Arranged first trip alone with my husband in far too many years
10. Attended 2 yoga classes
11. Cooked twice
12. Shopped for groceries
13. Caught up on laundry
14. Watched two playoff basketball games with my sons and husband
15. Purchased new flowers--forget-me-nots, columbine, pansies, hanging basket of petunias
16. Spent many hours picking up glass shards remaining in our yard from a glass table shattered in a windstorm 
17. Had my daughter and her husband and son over for dinner twice, including Mother's Day
18. Picked out new computer (my husband's Mother's Day present to me), and set it up, fighting through feelings of guilt and undeservingness
19. Had a wonderful Mother's Day lunch with my sons and husband and dog
20. Watched two Treme episodes with my husband

Last week's focus goal was to "focus on transitioning to triathlon training, in preparation for the Danskin Triathlon on August 21."  
 
Toward this end, I ran with my training partner, signed up for a day-long tri camp this coming weekend, and began reading Sally Edwards' book Be a Better Runner.  I also located the training plan I used last year, updated it, and shared it with my partner. A fair amount of tweaking will be needed as I negotiate at least two upcoming trips, accommodate meetings and family obligations, and deal with an intemperate spring and whatever kind of summer it will morph into.  At the moment, I'm having a mild case of the tri-willies, which I know from my limited experience is part of the sport, at least for me.  The race is fifteen weeks away! 

The most important thing I got done over the last two weeks was scheduling a trip for my husband and me to Seattle, in the first week of June.  This will be the first time we have travelled any distance without our children--ever!  My husband didn't really believe we would actually manage to pull this particular trigger, and Amtrak needed some persuading to help with their part, involving a complicated point redemption/purchase/sharing procedure.  But it's done, and we're booked, and barring any. . . well, actually, let's not go there.

My focus goal for the coming week is to return to daily meditating.  Regular readers may note the total absence of any meditation sessions last week.  Not a good thing, and probably not unrelated to an increase in anxiety and depression; although the lousy weather, too much solitaire, months of overwork and a messy house deserve some of the credit. 

Wishing all of us a good week. . .