Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. ~William James

Friday, March 18, 2011

Procrasti-what? A Word-Game for the Productively Challenged

If one is tenacious, and has unfettered access to the internet, there are seemingly endless territories to explore.  For example, I unearthed this cache of procrastination lore today, on the Urban Dictionary site.  I don't even remember exactly how I ended up there, but once in, I was amazed to find a particularly deep linguistic elaboration of the basic concept.  

Here are some examples of the hundreds of inventive terms to be found there:

procrastathon
(noun) A series of procrastination for multiple events all strung together.  For example, you have homework for 4 classes all due the same day, but instead of doing a couple and procrastinating on the others, you procrastinate on all of them at the same time.
Jimmy:  "Hey dude, you finish that stuff for your sociology and your physics classes?"
Tim:  "Nah man, I ran a procrastathon this weekend."

procrastitute
(noun) A cheap whore of dalliance and delay.
Instead of paying his electricity bill, Jonathan pissed away the afternoon playing two games of ATTACK, taking a personality test on facebook and writing a few inane definitions on urbandictionary.com.  What a procrastitute!

procrastisnack
(verb) To procrastinate for such a period of time that you get hungry and head to the fridge for a snack.
"I'm such a procrastisnacker that I gained five pounds and still haven't finished the report for tomorrow."

procrastiware
(noun) 1.  Software made to facilitate procrastination.
             2.  Software made while procrastinating.
             3.  All of the above [sic].
Facebook is really sweet procrastiware.

procrastiwriting
(gerund) working on a paper for school in small segments but continually getting distracted whether intentionally or unintentionally.
"I really can't come out tonight.  I've been procrastiwriting this paper all day and it's time to get it done."

procrastiblog
 1.  (verb)To write or comment on blog entries as a means of avoiding other activities.
 2.  (noun) An overly long blog entry that takes up so much time to read or write that work is neglected by the reader or author.  
"No, I didn't do my homework. I was up all night procrastiblogging."
Ah.  Something else to do instead of doing what we're supposed to be doing--make up a whole new lexicon of slackery.  

Visit the site if you've nothing better to do.  I defy you to coin a word that hasn't already been entered.  You get the gist. . . "procrasti_ _ _ _ _ _  [fill in the blanks]:  [(part of speech)] [ridiculous, time-wasting definition].  [Doofy sounding sentence using the new "word," as an example.]

For now, I'm procrastioutahere! 

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