Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. ~William James

Monday, March 8, 2010

Done for the Week: A Bad Cold Ate My Week

I am less than thrilled with the list that follows. But I should be okay with it.  If I learned anything from reading Mary Pipher's book, Seeking Peace:  Chronicles of the Worst Buddhist in the World, it is the importance of self-forgiveness.  And why should I even need to forgive myself for the hardly cardinal sin of being sick, or being human?  

I think my reaction is a residual of being raised as a doctor's daughter--the healthy one, at that.  Growing up, we chided each other that being sick was bad advertisement for Dad's medical skills.  And I secretly disliked the not-so-sick who called at all hours of the day and night, interrupting every family outing and celebration.  

As an adult, I have seldom done the kind of work where sick days were an option.   I have been blessed with darn good health overall, but when I do get sick, I generally try to work through it.  Succumbing to the need for rest and a reduced work schedule feels like malingering to me.  

This morning, after three days of  inactivity forced by fever, body aches and a racking cough, I awoke feeling slightly better.  Just in time to start another hectic week. And disappointed, mostly, about my inability to complete Week 9--what should have been the final week--of my 5K training.  My daughter/coach has been admonishing me not to resume training until I am well, and reminding me that even great athletes (whose ranks clearly do not include me) get sick, and injured, and have to rebuild.

Perhaps I am most troubled that my list for last week doesn't really look all that different from those of previous weeks.  

Done List--Week of Mar. 1-Mar. 7

  1. Completed Day 1 of Week 9 of Couch Potato to 5K Training
  2. Got sick, and then sicker
  3. Finished Sold Down the River by Barbara Hambley; Seeking Peace:  Chronicles of the Worst Buddhist in the World, by Mary Pipher
  4. Walked my semi-grateful dog one day, got family members to do it 2 others
  5. Took my blood pressure daily
  6. Survived two part-time jobs for another week, working while sick
  7. Attended 2 meetings
  8. Published 5 blog posts
  9. Meditated once
  10. Started letter to my dead father, as instructed by therapist
My plan for the coming week is to get over my illness, and get over myself.  As I cough my way into the first hours of Monday, I will try to ease into the resumption of routine, and to leave time for resting.  I look forward to getting my potato uncouched when my lungs clear. 

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