I am less than thrilled with the list that follows. But I should be okay with it. If I learned anything from reading Mary Pipher's book, Seeking Peace: Chronicles of the Worst Buddhist in the World, it is the importance of self-forgiveness. And why should I even need to forgive myself for the hardly cardinal sin of being sick, or being human?
I think my reaction is a residual of being raised as a doctor's daughter--the healthy one, at that. Growing up, we chided each other that being sick was bad advertisement for Dad's medical skills. And I secretly disliked the not-so-sick who called at all hours of the day and night, interrupting every family outing and celebration.
As an adult, I have seldom done the kind of work where sick days were an option. I have been blessed with darn good health overall, but when I do get sick, I generally try to work through it. Succumbing to the need for rest and a reduced work schedule feels like malingering to me.
This morning, after three days of inactivity forced by fever, body aches and a racking cough, I awoke feeling slightly better. Just in time to start another hectic week. And disappointed, mostly, about my inability to complete Week 9--what should have been the final week--of my 5K training. My daughter/coach has been admonishing me not to resume training until I am well, and reminding me that even great athletes (whose ranks clearly do not include me) get sick, and injured, and have to rebuild.
Perhaps I am most troubled that my list for last week doesn't really look all that different from those of previous weeks.
Done List--Week of Mar. 1-Mar. 7
- Completed Day 1 of Week 9 of Couch Potato to 5K Training
- Got sick, and then sicker
- Finished Sold Down the River by Barbara Hambley; Seeking Peace: Chronicles of the Worst Buddhist in the World, by Mary Pipher
- Walked my semi-grateful dog one day, got family members to do it 2 others
- Took my blood pressure daily
- Survived two part-time jobs for another week, working while sick
- Attended 2 meetings
- Published 5 blog posts
- Meditated once
- Started letter to my dead father, as instructed by therapist
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