Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. ~William James

Monday, May 9, 2011

Done for the Week: Whose Life Is This, Anyway?

I'm still having trouble showing up for my life with the conscientiousness that I have taught others to expect from me. 

I guess that's the problem, really.  Too much of my life is still ruled by what others want/need from me.  And the degree of resentment that I feel about this is sapping my will.  

Here's what I got done last week, whoever it was for:

Done for the Week:  May 2 - 8, 2011
  1. Continued race training
  2. Ran twice with my training partner 
  3. Signed up for day-long triathlon camp 
  4. Finished An Almost Perfect Moment, by Binnie Kirshenbaum
  5. Attended Search Committee meeting
  6. Attended campaign announcement for state senate recall election
  7. Continued to work my two part-time jobs
  8. Published 4 blog posts
  9. Arranged first trip alone with my husband in far too many years
  10. Attended 2 yoga classes
  11. Cooked twice
  12. Shopped for groceries
  13. Caught up on laundry
  14. Watched two playoff basketball games with my sons and husband
  15. Purchased new flowers--forget-me-nots, columbine, pansies, hanging basket of petunias
  16. Spent many hours picking up glass shards remaining in our yard from a glass table shattered in a windstorm 
  17. Had my daughter and her husband and son over for dinner twice, including Mother's Day
  18. Picked out new computer (my husband's Mother's Day present to me), and set it up, fighting through feelings of guilt and undeservingness
  19. Had a wonderful Mother's Day lunch with my sons and husband and dog
  20. Watched two Treme episodes with my husband
Last week's focus goal was to "focus on transitioning to triathlon training, in preparation for the Danskin Triathlon on August 21."  
Toward this end, I ran with my training partner, signed up for a day-long tri camp this coming weekend, and began reading Sally Edwards' book Be a Better Runner.  I also located the training plan I used last year, updated it, and shared it with my partner. A fair amount of tweaking will be needed as I negotiate at least two upcoming trips, accommodate meetings and family obligations, and deal with an intemperate spring and whatever kind of summer it will morph into.  At the moment, I'm having a mild case of the tri-willies, which I know from my limited experience is part of the sport, at least for me.  The race is fifteen weeks away! 

The most important thing I got done over the last two weeks was scheduling a trip for my husband and me to Seattle, in the first week of June.  This will be the first time we have travelled any distance without our children--ever!  My husband didn't really believe we would actually manage to pull this particular trigger, and Amtrak needed some persuading to help with their part, involving a complicated point redemption/purchase/sharing procedure.  But it's done, and we're booked, and barring any. . . well, actually, let's not go there.

My focus goal for the coming week is to return to daily meditating.  Regular readers may note the total absence of any meditation sessions last week.  Not a good thing, and probably not unrelated to an increase in anxiety and depression; although the lousy weather, too much solitaire, months of overwork and a messy house deserve some of the credit. 

Wishing all of us a good week. . .

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