Procrastinating 101: Beware the Dead(line) Zone!

This week, our Procrastinating 101 focus is on Cure Three--subtitled "Get Off the Rollercoaster"--in Diana DeLonzor's Never Be Late Again:  7 Cures for the Punctually Challenged.

As in previous chapters, DeLonzor here leads us through a self-assessment, this one designed to determine whether or not we are the kind of adrenaline junkies whose lateness is of the "Deadliner"variety.  If two or more of the following statements describe us, she maintains, we are "Deadliner" material.

• I work best under pressure.
• I like a fast-paced life-style.
• I often have difficulty getting motivated without an impending deadline.
• I am probably more easily bored than most people.
• I sometimes like to do things that are a little frightening.
• I enjoy living on the edge.

Personally, I think I am beginning to outgrow this status; but I have to admit that, as unpleasant as it feels sometimes, I still find myself "dashing around the house before work or furiously jamming papers into [my] briefcase before a meeting."  And I admit that "rushing makes [me] feel alive, focused, and purposeful."  Crazy, huh?

DeLonzor holds that we deadliners are likely to be one or both of these two types:

• Those who use adrenaline to relieve feelings of anxiety of boredom
• People who require a crisis to get motivated

Check, and check.

It is not exactly surprising that Deadliners of either type tend to be procrastinators, too.  In an earlier blog, we learned what Dr. Joseph Ferrari had to say about procrastination fueled by adrenaline addiction.  We also confronted the research that shows that, despite what we want to believe, last-minute, last-ditch efforts seldom result in superior achievements.

So why do we do it?  What is it about the breathless conduct of our habitual high-wire acts that keeps us in thrall?  DeLonzor answers these questions, in part, by sharing a couple of interesting findings.

First of all, deadlining is apparently at least partly--some estimate 60%--inherited.  And it seems that a "longer version of one gene on the eleventh chromosome" is common among those of us who "crave excitement."  This gene "influences the brain's response to dopamine, a chemical responsible for feelings of pleasure and euphoria, whose release may be triggered by exciting or risky experiences." 

Additionally, research conducted by psychologists G. Anderson and R.I. Brown in 1984 suggests that individuals vary in basic levels of arousal, and that some of us with "lower level[s] of base arousal" may require more stimulation to feel comfortable.  (Maybe that's why I experience a sense of having two gears--comatose and maniacal.) 

So if some of us are biologically inclined to push the envelope when it comes to completing work and getting places on time, what can we do about it--short of gene therapy?

DeLonzor recommends these three "basic steps:"

• Recognize how and when you create crises in your life.
• Learn to motivate yourself in the absence of a crisis.
• Find more constructive ways to obtain stimulation.

Following the book's pattern, DeLonzor prescribes a variety of exercises for each of these three steps.  The two that hold most appeal for me are:  looking for patterns in my production/use of crises as motivators; and practicing doing things early, to build internal motivation.

Something she doesn't deal with much, which is a serious issue for me, is the overall health consequences of living with self-generated stress.  I am hardly alone in our society in suffering from what has been termed "hurry sickness."  And many of us are coming to appreciate and long for the kind of calm that requires us to spend less time on the rollercoaster.

Done for the Week: The Short List

Literally.  A very short list.  One of those weeks again.

Done for the Week:  Nov. 7-13, 2011

1. Read Separate Beds, by Elizabeth Buchan
2. Continued to work my two part-time jobs
3. Published 2 blog posts
4. Continued significant work on current clients' projects
5. Continued to give nearly full-time support to my daughter and her family as they coped with early arrival of their baby, and my daughter's continuing health problems
6. Traveled to Houston on the weekend with my husband to see friends
7. Saw Andrei Molodkin's Crude installation at The Station Contemporary Art Museum in Houston
8. Visited Project Row Houses in Houston
9. Saw Experimental Exhibit at Houston's Watercolor Art Society Museum
10. Had a delicious dinner at Baba Yega Restaurant in Houston
11. Did laundry
12. Packed and unpacked
13. Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Traitor to Memory aloud with my husband
14. Finagled financial support for both sons in their separate educational ventures
15. Took my grandson to his swimming lesson
16. Meditated three times
17. Took some time alone during trip with my husband
18. Ordered room service breakfast

As in previous weeks, helping my daughter and her family deal with the demands and difficulties of her medically complicated postpartum period and the needs of her preemie infant in a Level III NICU miles away was still my most important accomplishment this past week.  Enough said.

Last week's focus goal was to "practice positive, non self-indulgent self-care, in whatever form I can."   I did manage to meditate three times, to spend some time alone while traveling with my husband, and to order room service breakfast.  All good.  However, I did not succeed in maintaining my exercise schedule in the face of the continuing demands of family support.  

I have worked too hard at incorporating regular physical activity into my life, and attaining my current level of fitness, to let my new found athletic life slip away.  So my focus goal for the coming week is to get back to training, and to work out at least three days.  Because I need it.

Procrastinating 101: Too "Busy" to be on Time?

Yeah.  I see the irony.  Here I am trying to share what I'm learning from Diana DeLonzor's Never Be Late Again:  7 Cures for the Punctually Challenged--and I'm two weeks late with this post!  

In my defense, I was only up to the first of seven "cures" before I fell behind.  And there's been some unusual stuff hitting the fan in my life of late.  (No pun intended.)  I am going to make every effort to remain on track from here on.  

Today in Procrastinating 101, we are, appropriately enough, looking at "Cure Two:  Beat the Busy Syndrome."  We begin with the ritual set of questions, intended to ascertain whether we are "Producers."  DeLonzor instructs us to answer these probes:

• Do I feel the need to squeeze as much activity as I can into each day?
• Do I view unproductive time as time "wasted"?
• Am I pleased when the day goes by quickly?
• Do I often underestimate everyday tasks, such as getting dressed in the morning or driving to work, even though I've performed those routines many times before?

Two or more "yes" responses qualify us for the title.  (My own magic number is somewhere between two and four, depending on how scrupulously honest I am.  Which puts me in there with Zero Mostel, or Nathan Lane, depending on the era.)

At the core of what DeLonzor calls "The Busy Syndrome" are a couple of key characteristics.  One is the fixation on productivity and accomplishment so common in our culture.  Many of us seem caught up in the attempt to prove our worth, to ourselves and others, by whirling through our days, complaining about how much we have to do while continuing to grow our schedules and commitments.  Add to this the magical thinking about time which comprises the second trait typical of "Producers," and you get the sort of habitual lateness scenarios DeLonzor relates, and I blush to read.  

DeLonzor's "magical thinking" about time refers to the tendency to underestimate the amount of time necessary to complete a task, which results in trying to cram several too many activities into a short period of time.  Related to this difficulty is a general reluctance to arrive anywhere early, which might necessitate waiting.  Thus, we "busy" people find ourselves pushing the envelope on a regular basis, and constantly coming up short.  And late.

Why do we have so much trouble being realistic about time?  DeLonzor suggests that right-brain dominance may account for some of the problem, since the left brain is responsible for organizational skills and accurate time assessment.  She shares, as well, Dr. Neil Fiore's notion of a Peter Pan Syndrome, in which an individual raised by indulgent parents fails to outgrow an "all things possible" attitude.  Such people "have a tendency to see the world and their surroundings as they would like them to be, rather than the way they really are."  (I know someone like this, but I wouldn't say that it applies to me.)

Following a seemingly obligatory cultural criticism section, in which we are invited to step back from the competitive, achievement-focused values and behavior that surround us, DeLonzor points to a way out.  She advises the reader to:

• Change your attitude about squeezing so much into each day.
• Stop thinking of "waiting time" as "wasted time."
• Overcome "magical thinking."

For each of these goals, she outlines a number of exercises designed to promote its realization.  Two that I found especially appealing were:

1. the suggestion of replacing "If I hurry, I can. . ." with one of the following mantras:

• "Am I being realistic or optimistic?"
• "Am I doing too much?"
• "Is this something that I need to do, or something I merely want to do?"

and

    2.  the idea of listing everyday tasks; estimating how long they take to accomplish; and then actually measuring how long they take.

I suspect that these two activities would address the habitual, and according to my children "obsessive" task-involvement which I engage in to the detriment of arriving on time anywhere; and my unrealistic assessments of what I can get done in a given amount of time.  (I persist in thinking, for example, that I can shower and dress in ten minutes, despite my daily failure to do so.)

And now, if the reader will excuse me, I have to do three more loads of laundry, finish the dishes, call my sister, work on projects for two clients, and spend some quality time with my husband before turning in early. . .

Done for the Last Two Weeks: Having Hit the Wall

One of the blessings of this blog has been the (admittedly not vast) "public" accountability for the way I run my life, which is built into these weekly done lists.

And one of the curses of this blog has been the (thankfully not vast) "public" accountability for the way I stumble while running my life.

This post's title blares last week's missing update. The story behind the story is some serious back pedaling.  The major dose of "good mother" behavior which dominated the last several weeks seems to have resulted in a tantrum-like reaction, in which I found myself unable/unwilling to do anything that a) was optional, and b) required any sort of initiative on my part.

I've decided to think of it as a self-correction.  This designation seems like the shortest path back to what I think of as "my work."  And that includes, but is not limited to, this blog.

Done for the Last Two Weeks:  Oct. 24-Nov. 6, 2011

1. Ran three times, swam once
2. Picked up new wetsuit
3. Attended last Run Better class with Trifaster's Lauren Jensen
4. Read The Farming of Bones, by Edwidge Danticat; Mothers and Other Liars, by Amy Bourret
5. Continued to work my two part-time jobs
6. Published 1 blog post
7. Continued significant work on current clients' projects
8. Continued to give nearly full-time support to my daughter and her family as they coped with early arrival of their baby, and my daughter's continuing health problems
9. Helped my son complete loan papers for school
10. Went out for three happy hours with my husband
11. Watched second and third episodes of Boss with my husband
12. Did laundry
13. Watched the first two entire seasons of The Good Wife, in an act of utter escapism
14. Continued reading Elizabeth George's A Traitor to Memory aloud with my husband
15. Straightened out nagging bill issues
16. Attended a special meeting on organization's proposed by-laws amendments
17. Vacuumed several dogs worth of hair off our living room carpet--AGAIN
18. Took my grandson to his swimming lesson
19. Straightened, vacuumed, and dusted our bedroom
20. Reset several clocks and watches back to Standard Time

In between sessions of self-indulgence, I continued to spend significant--though decreasing--amounts of time during the last two weeks helping my daughter and her family deal with the demands and difficulties of her medically complicated postpartum period and the needs of her preemie infant in a Level III NICU miles away. 

And this was still my most important accomplishment.  My daughter is beginning to recover, and my new granddaughter is doing well.  The baby has not yet decided to move beyond passive nourishment, however, which keeps her from coming home for the time being.  And so for now, and for the foreseeable future, Nana-ing remains Job 1.

As part of coping with the stresses of this interval,  my focus goal, from two weeks ago, was to "resume meditating.  Period."   And to show for this?  Another epic fail.  Although I know that meditating is an important element of self-care for me, and a major contributor to the effort to depression-proof my life, I managed to avoid the cushion altogether for the last two weeks.  Part of the tantrum, it would seem.

For the coming week, I am setting a more flexible focus goal, to accommodate the continuing unpredictability of my schedule and my current incorrigible nature.  I am committing myself to practice positive, non self-indulgent self-care, in whatever form I can.  I'll know it when I see it.